Hi Heather, and welcome to the family.
It seems great here (although I have only been around a few days), with so many caring people who all do their best to offer advice and support one another.
I guess you could start by looking at the link on the first page "Is it Borderline Personality Disorder?"
I have been lucky enough (
) to have had two relationships with BPD GFs. And although I am no expert, from what I have seen, it would seem totally out of character for a pwBPD to put their hand up and say "I think I have BPD".
On the contrary, (in my experience) the rages and anger that are common among pwBPD are based on a sense that there is nothing wrong with them and that it is everyone else who is at fault. Additionally, the 'splitting' which is another common and naive defense mechanism for pwBPD seems like it is not possible to self-diagnose. After all, if you had the insight to examine yourself and say "yes, I have these behaviours" then you probably wouldn't exhibit these behaviours in the first place, you would have done something about them long ago. Thus (IMHO), people with BPD do not know or find it very difficult to accept that they behave in certain ways which are often characteristic of BPD.
But perhaps others on here have a different view, BPD is not a simple thing to diagnose and there are many different clusters.
Regardless of whether you have BPD or not, the important thing is to stay safe and reach out for help if the sense of loss is becoming to overwhelming.
