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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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SES
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 332


« on: March 09, 2016, 09:28:39 AM »

We are going to mediation.  Two down, one to go. We have agreed a week on week off arrangement,  with set times to ring on Tuesday and Thursday.  She has missed the last two phone calls, including last night. My daughter is ill with a fever, off school,  but she's ok. It's my week to have them. She didn't ring them in her alloted time yesterday. She now wants to ring the kids later today. Should I let her? My feeling is no, as she didn't ring yesterday... but I'm not sure if this is worth making a stand... .What suggestions do any of you have? Of note, at mediation on Monday she told me she had stopped giving my son’s asthma medication months ago... .but never bothered to tell me.
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Thunderstruck
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2016, 12:32:24 PM »

We are typically pretty generous with calls. We have SD call uBPDbm nightly when she is with us. If uBPDbm doesn't answer then we send her a message giving her another chance before bedtime. Occasionally (if SD asks) we will do a phone call in the morning or at another time if uBPDbm hasn't answered.

This works for us, because their calls are typically short and relatively non-intrusive of our parenting time. uBPDbm doesn't try to call or message excessively and interrupt our time with SD (if that were the case, it would be a different story).
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"Rudeness is the weak person's imitation of strength."

"The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so. But we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitos and silly people." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
SES
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 332


« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2016, 12:55:32 PM »

Thanks Thunderstruck... .I appreciate it.

I decided to call her instead so she could speak to them. I don't talk to her. At least it was a time convenient for me. I really struggle with her due to the history. I kind of figured this wasn't the battle to choose.  Plus, she hasn't been too bad since xmas, although still bad.  It would be preferable to keep it that way.
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