daughter with BPD and alcoholism

[Daisy7]

Our 26 year old daughter has alcoholism and has a BPD diagnosis.  She has been through numerous rehabs and detoxes.  We finally have the DBT experts lined up for her who are supposed to be the BPD treatment experts in our area.  AT the same time, our daughter is back in partial hospitalization for the alcohol issue.  Can anyone give us hope that having intense DBT lined up for our daughter and getting her started in that may help her maintain sobriety?  I understand she has to choose sobriety?  As we are making a another huge monetary investment, this time in DBT treatment, we are hoping something will give her the tools she needs to help her choose sobriety. Any experience out there?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Daisy7 and welcome to the site.   

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time and that your daughter is currently part hospitalized.  Will she be home soon?

My27D is due to start DBT in April, she is also attending an alcohol session once a week, she is two weeks in.  Since this time last year she has cut down her alcohol intake substantially (practiced some of the DBT skills)- but when she has occasionally and impulsively binged she ends up in hospital from self harm.  She is so fed up with the pain and suffering she is choosing DBT and sobriety. She wants her life back.

I share with you my hope.    I know that only my daughter can make this work for her.  It's been a journey for her to realise this is her responsibility and only she can drive her recovery.  I also hope DBT skills will help.

I'm an optimist - hoping this time next year our girls are in a better place Daisy.

WDx

[Beacher]

Wendydarlin that was so nice. Good luck t both of you and hang in there Daisy7. Hopefully,she will,want this beautiful life God has given us, it's just up to her if she wants it.'hugs

[Lollypop]

Hi

I'd just thought I'd offer my own thoughts and share a good news story. It's hard, when in a black period, to see the light.

My niece really struggled in her 20s with alcohol. UndxBPD. She was a wild teen and got out of control. Pregnant at 21 with no partner and she was "kept close" by my sister because of concerns about her GS. Many hospitalisations for detox 22-25 yrs. Hit bottom at about 26 and was finally marched off to rehab as the school and social services were getting involved. The cycle still continued after rehab but there were small improvements. Yes she was unstable afterwards with a couple of failed relationships (one disastrous one formed in the halfway house) but she got her debts sorted, kept custody of her son and by 30 was well on the road to living a normal life. She's now 36 and blissfully married. It look a lot of support from my sister both financially and emotionally. Without her mum,  I'm positive it would have been very different outcome. She didn't go back to rehab for a second time, I think my sister (who was paying) thought well we tried that and it didn't work, what else?  I'm not saying my sister handled it right, because she didn't at times, but we can only do our best and that's a fact.

It's so hard to know what to do for the best. I used to be advised at FA - do nothing. When in doubt that's exactly what I try to do - apart from post on here and worry a lot! 

My niece still feels guilty about how much she hurt her mum. My nieces experiences have made her humble and very strong. She's a great mum and wonderful person to be around, feet firmly planted on the ground. It wasn't until she liked herself that she found a decent partner.

I'm learning on this site and it reaffirms my gut feeling: this is all about connection and communication.

There is always hope.