He filed

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

    Ex filed an ex parte motion. And lost. I filed for supervised visits last week. It will be heard at court next week. He came back into town on Saturday. He has been pressuring me via email to meet him in person. He wants to talk. I have refused. I said I am willing to meet him in a public place if he wants to talk. He emailed that I was just setting him up. He wants to pick me up and go for a ride. It's not happening. Lo and behold he finally emails me his new address since his friend won't take him back in. Loser is right back with his father.  The one he said looked through peepholes at his sister and stepsister. He actually said in email that since I won't work with him he has to get help from somewhere.

      He emailed me the other day asking to take our daughter up north to go to a cousins birthday party. I told him that he had a faulty vehicle, no phone, no internet service there, no income to pay for gas, hasn't seen her since February 13th, his family hasn't seen her since August last year, constant diaper rashes, 2 hour drive each way, etc. Not happening. All of a sudden after last week emailing me that I am strong as he is weak, he misses me and our little family, he is depressed because I wouldn't let him live with me, he is so thankful I do such a great job with daughter, etc, he is saying I have been giving her diaper rashes, trashing him in public, alienating him, I am a narcissist, I won't help him or talk to him, etc. Yes I have all the emails.

     So he filed an ex parte today. Where it says what relief do you want he wrote "that rarsweet respect the court order in place, for myself to have unsupervised visitation knowing that our daughter will be at my side, as always, at all times"

    For describe the future risk of irreparable harm or injury he wrote

" Losing the right to have unsupervised visit. Losing the right to have time with her dad. Losing out on her cousin's birthday. Losing the right to have her from 7:30am to 7:30pm. Losing the right to have our daughter in my vehicle."

     For what efforts have you made to notify other party of this motion and what were the results he wrote

" Emailed rarsweet to chat face to face to set up many visits. I just emailed to notify her of filing ex parte. Rarsweet is assuming things are going on in my life within email replies. She has not responded."

Yes that was seriously his exact handwritten words. First our present orders say "dad shall have parenting time during rarsweet's evening working hours on Thursday, Friday, Saturday" That is all our order says. No idea where he gets that the order says any times. I don't work evenings anymore. He has been gone since February 13th. Most of his sentences don't even make sense. How can I assume anything anything after an email if I hadn't even responded to him? That's his idea of harm. Missing a birthday party of someone she hasnt seen in over 7 months. She is 19 months, she doesn't even remember them. All he wants is control. What father says "at my side, as always, all the time". It's sick. Court in 7 more days thank God.

[rarsweet]

    Ex filed an ex parte motion. And lost. I filed for supervised visits last week. It will be heard at court next week. He came back into town on Saturday. He has been pressuring me via email to meet him in person. He wants to talk. I have refused. I said I am willing to meet him in a public place if he wants to talk. He emailed that I was just setting him up. He wants to pick me up and go for a ride. It's not happening. Lo and behold he finally emails me his new address since his friend won't take him back in. Loser is right back with his father.  The one he said looked through peepholes at his sister and stepsister. He actually said in email that since I won't work with him he has to get help from somewhere.

      He emailed me the other day asking to take our daughter up north to go to a cousins birthday party. I told him that he had a faulty vehicle, no phone, no internet service there, no income to pay for gas, hasn't seen her since February 13th, his family hasn't seen her since August last year, constant diaper rashes, 2 hour drive each way, etc. Not happening. All of a sudden after last week emailing me that I am strong as he is weak, he misses me and our little family, he is depressed because I wouldn't let him live with me, he is so thankful I do such a great job with daughter, etc, he is saying I have been giving her diaper rashes, trashing him in public, alienating him, I am a narcissist, I won't help him or talk to him, etc. Yes I have all the emails.

     So he filed an ex parte today. Where it says what relief do you want he wrote "that rarsweet respect the court order in place, for myself to have unsupervised visitation knowing that our daughter will be at my side, as always, at all times"

    For describe the future risk of irreparable harm or injury he wrote

" Losing the right to have unsupervised visit. Losing the right to have time with her dad. Losing out on her cousin's birthday. Losing the right to have her from 7:30am to 7:30pm. Losing the right to have our daughter in my vehicle."

     For what efforts have you made to notify other party of this motion and what were the results he wrote

" Emailed rarsweet to chat face to face to set up many visits. I just emailed to notify her of filing ex parte. Rarsweet is assuming things are going on in my life within email replies. She has not responded."

Yes that was seriously his exact handwritten words. First our present orders say "dad shall have parenting time during rarsweet's evening working hours on Thursday, Friday, Saturday" That is all our order says. No idea where he gets that the order says any times. I don't work evenings anymore. He has been gone since February 13th. Most of his sentences don't even make sense. How can I assume anything anything after an email if I hadn't even responded to him? That's his idea of harm. Missing a birthday party of someone she hasnt seen in over 7 months. She is 19 months, she doesn't even remember them. All he wants is control. What father says "at my side, as always, all the time". It's sick. Court in 7 more days thank God.

[Turkish]

It sounds like what he wrote first is what messed it up. Even if it so happens that he gets unsupervised time, it can't ever be around his pervert dad. If you have any documentation of what he told you, all the better.

The whole going for a ride alone thing sounds creepy and scary. He sounds weepy and waify from how you'be described him, but never trust someone with such a compartmentalized personality. You're doing the right thing.

[david]

Sounds like he is giving you all the evidence you need.

My xBPDw does things that backfire on her too. It used to confound me but I have come to accept that she has a mental health issue and we are talking from very different places.

If you have documentation about his dad that is good. If you don't you may be able to introduce it as a concern in an email or text and get him to respond. That would help with supervised visitation.

[rarsweet]

In my request for supervised visits filed last week I listed

1. The details about his father and the fact that ex hasn't let him around daughter since last August.

2. Unreliable vehicle

3. No income to fix vehicle

4. No income at all

5. No employment since October 31st 2013

6. No housing, homeless since last August

7. Refusal to disclose whereabouts and mailing address

8. Erratic behaviors

9. Intelligible speech

10. Missing doctor appointments

11. Constant diaper rashes

12. Trips to the ER after his parenting time twice in less than a year

13. Daughter going from 14th percentile to 40th percentile in weight with his limited parenting time

14. Lying about medical conditions

15. Consistently late to child exchanges for a year and a half

16. No phone to use in an emergency

17. Cannot consistently communicate with me as he doesn't have a phone or internet

18. He secured a birth certificate for daughter the day before he filed a frivolous restraining order in 2014(he gave me a copy with the issue date clearly stamped on it, dumb)

19. Filing frivolous motions, lying to the court about me assaulting him when I proved I was actually at the hospital four days post c-section

20. Transient lifestyle

21. No ability to even feed daughter

22. The fact that from September 2014 until June 2015 he was asking to move away without good cause and no notice and to have sole custody

23. He has never even had a crib for our baby to sleep in or a room

24. No ties to the area

25. Has lived in numerous states

26. The constant attempts to get me alone

27. Refusal to meet in public

28. Being gone for over a month

29. History of not showing up for parenting time

30. He is willing to disregard daughter's well being as long as someone supports him

Less than a week later he moves in with his dad(someone to support him at daughter's risk), even said in email he has to get any help he can since I won't work with him, filed a frivolous ex parte motion, missing a party is not irreparable imminent harm, wrote intelligible sentences, has emailed to get me to talk to him, get in his car, I invited him to join us at a kids play in town(public), he refused, all things I already said he does. Pattern! If you follow his line of thought that daughter missing a family birthday party is imminent harm then he has been harming her for months since she hasn't seen any of his family since October. If missing a party is that much a cause for concern he must agree that the issues I have raised are serious harm then, right? There is imminent danger if he misses parenting time on a Saturday then he has been causing the same harm since February 13th, right? Is this what he will do in the future? If he wants something and I don't cave he files an ex parte? Shows a very bad pattern for future co parenting. Not that I didn't already know all of this but he has just shown it to the judge.

[Sunfl0wer]

Maybe I missed it or recall incorrectly but... .

Didn't he also allow her near someone who he states is a pediphile?

[rarsweet]

Yes his father. He hasn't talked to his dad or allowed any contact since last August. Now that his friend that he was staying with won't let him be there anymore he has moved back in with his father. Anyone who will support him even if it puts our daughter in danger