Any tricks to stop thinking about your replacement?

[Depression = 72% of members]

So I'm still dealing with a lot of up/down days, but I'm really happy with my recovery progress. For example, last night I had three separate dreams about her, one where she admitted to cheating on me and having threesomes, another where she brought my replacement with her to a family christmas lunch. This would have wrecked me three weeks ago, I would have been ruminating all bloody morning and stayed awake. Today, I was sort of like 'meh' and went back to bed.

So for the first time since the b/u I'm starting to have positive thoughts, or at least not negative thoughts. The one thing over the past few days that is bringing me back down is silly random thoughts of her being intimate with my replacement.

Obviously I know we are separated, she can do whatever she wants and really this is just my ego being offended, however maybe it's because we are still married but the thought that MY WIFE who made beautiful, heartfelt wedding vows is doing this (probably right now!) just sort of invades my day and I really don't like it at all.

Anyone else have a similar problem? I'm just looking at ways I can consciously cut those thoughts off before they take hold.

[Ahoy]

So I'm still dealing with a lot of up/down days, but I'm really happy with my recovery progress. For example, last night I had three separate dreams about her, one where she admitted to cheating on me and having threesomes, another where she brought my replacement with her to a family christmas lunch. This would have wrecked me three weeks ago, I would have been ruminating all bloody morning and stayed awake. Today, I was sort of like 'meh' and went back to bed.

So for the first time since the b/u I'm starting to have positive thoughts, or at least not negative thoughts. The one thing over the past few days that is bringing me back down is silly random thoughts of her being intimate with my replacement.

Obviously I know we are separated, she can do whatever she wants and really this is just my ego being offended, however maybe it's because we are still married but the thought that MY WIFE who made beautiful, heartfelt wedding vows is doing this (probably right now!) just sort of invades my day and I really don't like it at all.

Anyone else have a similar problem? I'm just looking at ways I can consciously cut those thoughts off before they take hold.

[misaelb]

I have this problem too

I had to read painful messages from my exgf of 5 years, and im still strugglin a lot with this

is been just three weeks

what do i do? i try to drain my toughts... .like i try to think in the worst and see how that doesnt kills me

altough it hurts, im trying to get used to it so it will lose effect

not sure if it will work as i expect, but im pretty obsessive so i know that i CANT repress nothing, to me is impossible to trick my mind, or i just havent learned to do it

i also have lots of nightmares, but theyre good because it means i can sleep, which is my biggest issue right now, that i cant sleep

i wish to have more tips

i guess in a way, this is something we have to live so we can resign ourselves

yes, there are tecniques to focus and control your mind, meditation should be great for this

altough i havent found the discipline or energy to meditate properly, the essence of meditaiton is to learn to control and focus ur minds on what you need

take care

[Dhand77]

A mutual Facebook friend of ours showed me a pic of my replacement, since he felt what she did and how she handled the break up with the cheating and splitting felt wrong to him.

He was a downgrade and I immediately felt better. If that was what she left me for, he can have her. She left me for an alcoholic loser, and she'll eventually chew him up and spit him out. I got my closure, after she repeatedly lied over and over that there was "no one else" the dates on the pics proved otherwise.

She clearly found an easier "mark". The poor chump has no idea what he is in for. I hope he's thick skinned, because he's in for a rough ride. Lol

[Yaryar87]

Change your thoughts. As soon as you start thinking about it force yourself to think about something else, read a book, take a walk.  Easier said than done but it has worked for me and took me a while to master.