Daughter shares pictures of her self harm with friends

[Yepanotherone]

Hello all,

This is my very first post and I will no doubt write a detailed account of what has been going on in the last 10 months to bring me to this site when I can locate my Bluetooth keyboard and not have to tap on my iPad !:) suffice to say my daughter is most definitely demonstrating BPD traits.  she had an initial diagnosis of severe depression during the first hospitalization, that was shortly thereafter changed to Bipolar 1 with severe rapid cycling by a different psychiatrist when she was discharged . Second hospitalization brought around a " she's too young and it's way too soon to diagnose her with bipolar but let's call it bipolar non specified and btw, there's a condition called BPD that we wouldn't rule out " diagnosis. This most recent (third) hospitalization  comes with a " severe recurring depression with psychotic symptoms and borderline traits" diagnosis.

I am working my way through this site after locating it a couple of nights ago and it is going to be my savior I think    

I have a burning question that I just can't wrap my head around . My daughter (age16) shares pictures of her cuts and self inflicted bruises on social media via private messaging with her friends and when I first discovered this ten months ago I was absolutely horrified!

Does anyone else find their children do this ?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[.cup.car]

This is like, normal to see on Instagram. Not saying it's right or even healthy, but this weird push to glorify mental illness has kids posting all kinds of messed up stuff.

One girl I follow regularly records fights with her parents. Another would post topless photos, and photoshop her nipples out with that of her boyfriend. The few times I asked what the hell they were doing, I got b___ed at and told I was "slut shaming" them.

[Bright Day Mom]

I have a BPD 16 D too and the history sounds very similar. My D does not share photos w/friends and often feels shame for her lack of control and lapse backward into the escape. Do you think this may be your D's way for calling for help?  Only reason I ask is a girl on my d's bus had shown her self-harm on her way to school one day and my D confided the information to a counselor. When I asked why she did that my D said Mom, she obviously wants help. Self harm should be taken very seriously and take priority in order to get the appropriate treatment whether it be counseling, medication, etc.  Children are being tormented, are in pain and need the relief from the turmoil living inside.  

I hope you find the clinicians and help you need so your D can live the peaceful / fun life she deserves, but may not be able to see right now.

[michmom]

Hello yepanotherone,

Welcome to the site that can provide a sense of stability to your life.  Outside of here, I feel like I live in an altered state of reality. Just like in the "Twilight Zone".  Yes to your questions.  My 16 yr daughter also sometimes glorifies her self harm.  I understand that these acts on my daughters part sometimes are apart of her accepting her behavior.  Surviving her scars means she's alive.  Sometimes they are like trophies.  She sometimes displays them to encourage others to not hold on to the shame of it or depending on the audience, she uses it to say "hey, look at me".  Perhaps your daughter is looking for acceptance.  Not of the scars but of herself, among her peers.   I have hope that in time, things will become crystal clear as to why we have to have these experiences and why are children have to go through this.  Take care.

[Yepanotherone]

Thankyou all for your responses , it really does shock me but obviously I try not to show that to my daughter. She doesn't know that I know about the pictures she has sent. She sends them to friends predominantly in our previous State of residence so I was wondering if it's her way of saying please don't forget about me, I'm still here and I'm still hurting and i still need your support .

Recently she's started  wearing shorts again as the days are getting warmer . Initially she did seem self conscious about the scars , she'd be pulling her shorts down more, and she got mad with me if she caught me so much as glancing at them. ( it was really hard to avert my gaze when I first saw the extent of her scars , some of the cuts were obviously very deep and my heart just broke ) now though , she seems to be in the " okay this is me and screw you " mode as the shorts are getting shorter and showing off more of the scars . I did worry that kids seeing her scars at school would perhaps alienate her all the more. But on the other hand , in some ways , I'm proud of her for not being ashamed of them  and hiding them away. It's a strange mix of thoughts and emotions.