Don't I deserve...

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

... .to be happy too?

When I take care of everything financially, only to be told it's never ever enough?

When I find myself walking on eggshells during sex because my formerly sex-bomb minx of a wife is now a disinterested waif?

When I'm given the silent treatment after spending my every waking moment trying to allay her anxiety and depression?

When I'm accused of being controlling for expecting to spend quality time with her?

When I lay down boundaries only to have her walk out of our family's life?

When she consistently reminds me that she be with any man she chooses?

When she lies to me and manipulates me?

My mind struggles to remember the last time my wife did anything that contributed to our marriage.  It's been a long, long time.  So why do I miss her desperately?  It's been years since the mirroring ended; does that make me just as pathological as she that I would put up with this marriage for so long where I get thrown the occasional and increasing irregular crumb?  It's been months since she left yet I still find her memory dominating my day.  Shouldn't I view this as an opportunity to find an emotionally, mentally healthy partner who loves as she is loved?  What the hell is wrong with me?

[Icanteven]

... .to be happy too?

When I take care of everything financially, only to be told it's never ever enough?

When I find myself walking on eggshells during sex because my formerly sex-bomb minx of a wife is now a disinterested waif?

When I'm given the silent treatment after spending my every waking moment trying to allay her anxiety and depression?

When I'm accused of being controlling for expecting to spend quality time with her?

When I lay down boundaries only to have her walk out of our family's life?

When she consistently reminds me that she be with any man she chooses?

When she lies to me and manipulates me?

My mind struggles to remember the last time my wife did anything that contributed to our marriage.  It's been a long, long time.  So why do I miss her desperately?  It's been years since the mirroring ended; does that make me just as pathological as she that I would put up with this marriage for so long where I get thrown the occasional and increasing irregular crumb?  It's been months since she left yet I still find her memory dominating my day.  Shouldn't I view this as an opportunity to find an emotionally, mentally healthy partner who loves as she is loved?  What the hell is wrong with me?