Undiagnosed adult children

[mommm]

Hi,

I have a daughter who may have BPD, though she might be considered high functioning. She has not been diagnosed with BPD to my knowledge. She is in her mid twenties. Her sister, early thirties, may also have BPD, I just know both are struggling with mental issues.

Mid twenties daughter was seeing a therapist (MSW) who diagnosed her with PTSD. She also saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed depression and bipolar. She was put on several meds which she claimed were doing more harm than good. She is not currently seeing any mental health practitioner, or taking any meds, but says she may go back to therapist. What drove me here is a renewed claim by her of a sexual assault when she was four by a man, not sure if she knows who it was. I of course had no knowledge of anything or even hints of anything. I did a search on BPD and false memory and found a post in this forum. Why do I think she has BPD? Oddly, I have discussed my grief over her struggles with my therapist and  that is her interpretation of Midtwenties mental health issue.

I hope can get more information here and maybe helpful to others as well.

momm

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Naughty Nibbler]

HI   Mommm 

Welcome to the BPD Family

I'm sorry about your daughters.  It must be hard to see them struggling.  I found the book "Stop Walking of Egg Shells" rather enlightening. I bought an optional workbook to use along with it.  I filled out a questionaire in the workbook for my uBPD sister and she tests out as a high-functioning BPD.  I bought the main book in audio form and the workbook in Kindle form.

Are you in therapy to help you with your relationships with your daughters?  Is there a history of mental illness in your family (other than your daughers)?  Most people have a trait or two that can fit into the description of a mental illness.  The label gets attached when centain traits/behaviors total up to a certain number for a given category.  It is common to have a comorbidity of mental issues.  Some patients may not be totally honest with therapists about all their behavior issues, so sometimes the more appropriate label doesn't get attached.  My uBPD sister gets meds from her primary care physician for depression.  Her BPD behavior became very apparent with her after some stressful events.  She went into angry rages and I was the lucky who got split and painted black (labeled all bad in her eyes). 

Are there any specific behaviors that might fit the description of BPD?  One way to approach the situation is to learn skills to deal with various behaviors. We don't have the power to change others, but we can change how we interact with them and react.


The link below can help you look over the definition of BPD and BPD behaviors. 



INFO LINKS - IS IT BPD?

https://bpdfamily.com/content/what-borderline-personality-disorder

https://bpdfamily.com/content/borderline-personality-disorder

There is a lot of good information on this Website that you should find helpful.   You can go to "The Learning Center" area on the board (find the main index page or use the navigation drop-down at the bottom of this page) and find a lot of useful information.

If you can share some more information about what issues you want to address right now, we can help guide you to some specific links.

[mommm]

Thanks Naughty Nibbler,

Will have a look at the resources in your reply.

I have a book on my iPad that I think is the sequel to Walking on Eggshells, or the revision maybe, The Essential Family Guide To Borderline Personality Disorder by Randi Kreger.

It's hard because she isn't cookie cutter BPD and is high functioning. Has the depression, drama and self loathing, suicidal issues, eating disorders and other impulsive activity but a responsible employee. But doesn't lash out verbally very often or physically ever, has other ways of being hurtful like exclusion.

Yes I see a therapist regularly and she is the one who first told me it sounds like borderline, which I knew almost nothing about. Yes history of mental illness on both sides. And we had kids with issues, imagine that.   I was in denial for the growing up years of the two oldest though signs were not glaringly obvious either.

Again, thanks-

[Naughty Nibbler]

HI mommm

What type of things does your daughter exclude you from?

I've added some more links and info that you might find helpful.  You can never have too many tools to use, but don't let them overwhelm you.  Take it a step at a time, an issue at a time.  As you try out some of the techniques, be sure and come back and let us know how it works out and perhaps get some support along the way.

Your daughter may fit the description of a quiet BPD or waif.  You might find the discussion thread below interesting to read:

QUIET BPD - THREAD

   https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=149911.0


The information in the link below can be helpful in dealing with suicidal thoughts.  It has around 9 pages, so you might find something helpful.

https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/safety_first.pdf

This one has some great communication skills:

COMMUNICATIONS OVERVIEW   https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=69272.0