Overnight pass from RTC - worried

[Parents! Get help here!]

My D is 16 and has been in long term RTC since May 25th. I am scheduled to fly in for a 4 day visit (I'm in California she's in Colorado) and her therapist told me that she would authorize an overnight stay one of the 4 days while I'm there.  I miss my daughter terribly (although relieved at the same time to have a break and that she's safe finally) and I want this visit to go really well.  Any advice on how to maintain boundaries and try to make this a positive experience?  Also I'm worried I will have a hard time bringing her back to RTC after the sleepover... .but the idea of it in my head is so nice, except nothing every works out the way I picture or plan  

[sad_soul]

My D is 16 and has been in long term RTC since May 25th. I am scheduled to fly in for a 4 day visit (I'm in California she's in Colorado) and her therapist told me that she would authorize an overnight stay one of the 4 days while I'm there.  I miss my daughter terribly (although relieved at the same time to have a break and that she's safe finally) and I want this visit to go really well.  Any advice on how to maintain boundaries and try to make this a positive experience?  Also I'm worried I will have a hard time bringing her back to RTC after the sleepover... .but the idea of it in my head is so nice, except nothing every works out the way I picture or plan  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Yepanotherone]

Hi there Sadsoul, I don't have anything to offer in the way of advice regarding techniques to use I'm afraid as I'm just entering this new territory myself . Do you mind if I ask which RTC your daughter is staying in ? I live in colorado and while we aren't yet at the stage of RTC, I figure it doesn't do any harm to have some information under my belt regarding resources that are available should we need them

[lbjnltx]

The RTC my d was at had very specific instructions for overnight:

No more than 20 miles from the facility

Spend time conversing and bonding (avoid things that don't promote this... .movies, etc... )

No access to internet or phones

No meet ups with other resident's or their families

If there is any problem return to the facility immediately

Call the facility with any concerns or questions

Do not leave her unattended or allow her to go off on her own even for a moment

Hope that helps

[Bright Day Mom]

My situation is a little different as my d's rtc is closer to home and her overnights are home!  We all had a lot of anxiety working up to the first overnight visit and I have to be honest the anticipation was far worse than the visit!

I would think the facility would have clear guidelines as LBJ shared.  If I could make one recommendation is do your homework on the area you'll be staying, i.e. start researching things to do, places to go and if you can call your d to discuss so she too can have some input and maybe even get a bit excited about your overnight.

Good luck, baby steps.

[DisneyMom]

Those are good guidelines. When my DD was in RTC, the first visit home we made Christmas cookies. It was a good hands-on fun activity. After it ended, though, she sat on the couch and got really uncomfortable, sad, bored, and didn't know what to do. She couldn't just "be" We had to really structure everything. Her first overnight, she "slept over" in her little sister's room and they talked and watched Disney movies. I slept in the living room, close by, just in case. But it was fine. It was sweet actually, after so much trauma. Being at home but yet everything had changed and she didn't know where to start was hard. Going back was a little sad, but my DD quietly accepted she was going back. I think being away for visits may have it's advantages. I think you should just make plans to keep busy, that's the key. I would make the plans yourself rather than give her a bunch of choices. My DD found it really stressful when we gave her a number of options