Question about hospitalization

[busyscmom]

My 23yo BPD D tells me she called an ambulance because she had suicidal thoughts. I've been wanting her to get help for years, but my gut tells me she's being manipulative. The therapist I've been working with tells me that if she's in the hospital for a behavioral eval, they would take her cell phone, keep her for 72 hours, then either let her go or transfer her to a residential facility. But my D has texted me and others, been on social media, etc. She has also been there for 4 days. She has cystic fibrosis and puts herself in the hospital on a regular basis, even though she doesn't medically need to be there. She has learned that if she goes to the emergency room and complains she can't breathe, they'll admit her.

So with her having her cell phone and telling me she's going to be there for a few weeks, I have serious doubts if she's really there to get help.

She's texting me saying I'm not being supportive. Asking if I care about her. Etc. Do I try to find out what why she's in the hospital or just let it go? I would be ecstatic if she is really there for mental help, but I don't know why she's really there. When she puts herself in the hospital, I don't go see her, try not to talk to her, don't take her clothes, etc not to enable her. But if she really is there for a mental health eval, I do want to be supportive.

So... .do I try to find out what why she's really there or let her be on her own?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi busyscmom,

It is a very sad reality that some people with BPD have suicidal tendencies. It can be very hard to tell if the person is actually suicidal or not, but the fact that someone talks about suicidal thoughts is already concerning. We have a thread here that might help you deal with what your daughter is going through:
TOOLS: Dealing with threats of Suicide and Suicide Attempts

When you first got here you said your daughter was in therapy in high school after she confided in you that she had contemplated suicide. That is a very difficult thing to hear from one's own daughter, but I am glad she did get help back then. She now again has talked about having suicidal thoughts, is this the first time since high school that this has happened?

Take care