Snowmonkey- Good point about the love-bombing and idealization. Someone could have warned me and I'm sure I wouldn't have listened either. It's too easy to believe the lies. I am sure he has BPD (probably combined with a few other disorders) because he was VERY controlling (told me what I could wear, where I could go without him, checked my texts, etc), moods would shift like the wind, was impulsive (spending, sex, relationships, alcohol/drugs when he got upset), always accused me of cheating (with NO reason), and was terrified he was going to lose me. I could go on and on, but from all the reading I have done, the descriptions of BPD fit him exactly. Unfortunately I didn't see it until it was too late. (Then again, he was the one who pushed to marry so quickly, and I have no one to blame but myself for going along with it.)
@married21years---Thank you for the advice. Us empaths tend to always put others before ourselves and I just have to keep reminding myself that I can only control my own life and my own happiness. Unfortunately anyone else who gets in a relationship with him will just have to learn for themselves.
I consider myself a smart person and am amazed I fell for all the lies of how much he loved me and how great our life would be together. Hindsight's 20/20 and I see so many red flags now. I WILL come out stronger from this and am so thankful for forums like this to help me understand it all.
