need advice

[adaw]

Do BPD have tell tale signs. My BPD has certain phrases she use and a smirk and a tone of voice that warns me that hell is going to come knocking?

[schwing]

I've noticed that sometimes when my uBPDmother comes looking to pick a fight with me, I can tell in advance.

Her telltale signs are almost a facade that she is in a good or caring mood.  And she nonchalantly brings up topics that are almost always guaranteed to trigger some kind of reaction in me.  For example, she might criticize my appearance.  Or ask why I'm treating another family member so poorly.  All as if it's matter of fact, but always distressing in some way.

Your BPD loved one is likely to have tells as well. But the tells will vary from person to person.  And some people are probably much better poker players than others.

[schwing]

... .ops posted an extra post.

[adaw]

I can do with a game of poker some bourbon and blues

[sweetheart]

When you recognise your wife's 'telltale' behaviours prior to a dysregulation in what way if any might knowing these early warning signs help you?

How could they help you change the pattern of conflict that currently exists for you both?

[adaw]

Most of the drama only exist because of her twisted reality or wrongdoings that gets gas lighted she goes out without telling me (you are whoring around) gambles (you stole my money) drinks (you need help with your alcoholism) or your clothes isn't folded to my standard and I do make mistakes that leads to confrontation