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Author Topic: The suicide threats and gestures.. I just can't fathom ...  (Read 653 times)
Yepanotherone
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« on: September 01, 2016, 08:43:22 PM »

Apologies for not posting for a while , I'm still around the boards daily , but I think I might have been in a wee state of "hoping it's not the case and it's not real and this will go away in time" mode  Smiling (click to insert in post)  no such luck !

Having been through a rough 36 hours with my princess BPD16, with her sending out pictures of razers to her friends and apparently saying her goodbyes , creating a state of all fired panic amongst her peer group and having the police knocking on my door twice within the space of 12 hours, I just cannot get my head around trying to understand what goes on in my DD's head when she's doing this !

I found out ( through one of my DD's friends ) that they have been so worried about her because her mood has been plummeting over the last few days , because her boyfriend is withdrawing and it seems the relationship is coming to an end . So in classic BPD style , my DD fires out all sorts of desperate threats and gestures in order to try and claw him back in , the more he withdraws , the worse she gets . It's just so hard for me to understand why she doesnt seem to realize what she's doing and that she is only going to push him further away . For such an intelligent girl it's just mind boggling to me . And she knows she's doing it ... And she also knows why she's doing it ( she understands its part of her condition ) yet she still does it !
She told the police officer who came out yesterday to check on her after yet another frantic call from a friend worrying about my DD , that she's sending out these pictures as a means to getting attention and it's because of her BPD . Very insightful I thought and not an easy one to fess up to !

I'm just venting here ... .scuse my rambles !
My DD is very lucky to have such kind , caring , tolerant friends , I only hope she doesn't burn them out and scare them all away  I've told her that I do worry that she places so much responsibility on her friends and they aren't necessarily equipped to support her ( they are all between the ages of 16-18 and no doubt traumatized !) . And her poor ex boyfriend , my gosh I feel so sorry for him . A lovely , naive 18 year old guy , perfectly nice in every way , I'm sure he'll be feeling he has had a lucky escape . This is only her second boyfriend and she did exactly the same thing to the first one .

So another one bites the dust . We'll no doubt see another one soon as my DD is a beautiful girl . The poor guys are like lambs to the slaughter, all doe eyes and taken in by my DD's beautiful face , her long blonde hair , fabulous figure and charming , witty humor ... .Until she then starts to push their buttons to test how just how much they will take  it makes me sad that this is gong to be reflective of her relationships even as she matures  
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Naughty Nibbler
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
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« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2016, 10:24:57 PM »

Yepanotherone:   

I'm so sorry, you've had a couple of tough days.  It is good to vent.

What are you doing to take care of yourself right now, other than venting. 
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wendydarling
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Relationship status: Mother
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« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2016, 05:34:03 PM »

Hi Yep

Hum! I understand, I just cant fathom, I'd say exactly that in your boots. It's good to stand back and ask, what, why, how 

""She told the police officer who came out yesterday to check on her after yet another frantic call from a friend worrying about my DD , that she's sending out these pictures as a means to getting attention and it's because of her BPD . Very insightful I thought and not an easy one to fess up to !"

Your daughter understands why, is diamond. Learning how to change the behaviour through DBT is her journey?

Goodness, I hope all is calm for you and you are able to rest today. Thinking of you 

How is the meds change going?

WDx 



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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
Gorges
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« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2016, 07:38:11 AM »

Sometimes losing those friends is a way to learn... I think it is good that she realized this is part of her disorder.   I read a book recommended on this website "loving someone with BPD" or some title like that.  It talked about being supportive but setting boundaries and limits during suicide attempts.  I thought it seemed harsh but it made sense from the reward and attention that someone gets.   

This must be so upsetting for you. This does seem to be classic BPD so at least you have a diagnosis and your daughter is fitting a pattern.  Good thing she has you for a mom.  You seem like the perfect combination of caring but not being fooled by BPD behavior.
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