Tried to make things right with offering peace

[Laurielynn]

Hi!

My ex BPD/NPD BF broke up ( I ended it) almost a year ago due to lies, betrayal, and him staying on dating sites when we were supposed to be together. He denied it, even with proof. It seemed he could not keep a consistent connection, and needed an inordinate amt of attention I could not provide long distance.

The last time ... we talked he was to come see me... I feel I was pushed beyond my thresh hold, and finally let him have it verbally ... Bar none. He knew I loved him... and it was hard to do... But needed to save my sanity. I was emotionally drained and hurt.

This weekend, (now that time had passed)  for several months I had a trip to his town, planned some time ago to visit a friend. I thought ABt stopping in... to just make peace... so to say... I m not one to like leaving on bad terms indefinitely. I still think of him and will always care. I stopped by during the day after lunch, since he works from home.
I wanted to do in person... if possible to see where my feelings lay.
He was not home. I found his cell # and texted I had stopped by to make peace. I also said I was up visiting a friend there, and if he liked, we cold meet for a glass of wine b4 dinner. He did text back, saying he was with his GF in the next city over. That he he was sorry he missed my stop by, but wouldn't be back in town till Monday. ( I was leaving Sunday). I let him know It was no problem and left it at take care. No reply back.
B4 leaving I emailed, saying I was hoping to making peace between us, and wished the best of luck, telling him how happy I was in my new job...   No reply back.He did make it a point to say to tell me he was with his new GF. He could have said he was out of town and left it at that.
Do y'all think he was playing games? Or wanted to let me know... so I wouldn't want him back? ( that was not my intention)  I would have at least said thank u for trying ... and best of luck back... But nothing... ? I feel it was another slap in the face...
Also just FYI... Ex BPD showed rage ful attacks towards me sometimes out of the blue, over things a non would never do... Other times it was when I caught him in rediculous lies... when it was blatantly obvious...
Over the course of our dating... I was contacted by 2 other women who left him that had had enuff too!
Anyway...
Is this normal BPD behavior for not responding appropriately ... even when it seemed he was being nice?
Thank u!

[Larmoyant]

Hi Laurielynn,

Your experience sounds similar to mine. I met my ex on a dating site and he never came off them, four or five of them, the whole time we were together. At the end I was also pushed to my limit and felt so distraught and angry.

Can I ask you what you meant by "to see where my feelings lay". Were/are you conflicted about your feelings for him? Was your aim to get closure?

[patientandclear]

His response seems fine to me. He was honest; leaving out the new gf info might have led you on. He was open--would have liked to see you, open to seeing you when he returned. Doesn't get better than that, under these circumstances, I think. You also did a nice thing. All good.