Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
November 01, 2024, 10:35:16 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Books most popular with members
104
Stop Caretaking the
Borderline or the Narcassist
Stop Walking
on Eggshells
Journey from
Abandonment to Healing
The Search for Real Self
Unmasking Personality Disorders
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
Insuring child support payments? HELP
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Insuring child support payments? HELP (Read 493 times)
Dontknow88
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 331
Insuring child support payments? HELP
«
on:
October 11, 2016, 10:11:28 PM »
Am I wrong for wanting to ensure child-support payments From a person that's highly suicidal and paying child support. Has anyone done this?
We talked about it when we were togeather (and before I found out he had mental illnesses)
Where I'm from if he dies for whatever reason I'll lose the income that helps out a lot (child support) and the fact that he's highly suicidal saddens me for that's another good reason to get it insured. I just think it's a smart thing to do for the child's sake.
What I mean by getting it insured is to have him put his child on his life insurance.
Logged
Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12179
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: Insuring child support payments? HELP
«
Reply #1 on:
October 12, 2016, 12:01:56 AM »
Not to sound morbid, but what's your understanding of his contributions to social security thus far? Minors get a benefit.
Logged
“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Dontknow88
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 331
Re: Insuring child support payments? HELP
«
Reply #2 on:
October 12, 2016, 01:46:51 AM »
Quote from: Turkish on October 12, 2016, 12:01:56 AM
Not to sound morbid, but what's your understanding of his contributions to social security thus far? Minors get a benefit.
He pays child support but nothing set in stone currently making a sepetstion agreement and wondering if I should put life insurance in it since he's not on his
Logged
ForeverDad
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18438
You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...
Re: Insuring child support payments? HELP
«
Reply #3 on:
October 12, 2016, 09:11:45 AM »
What Turkish suggested you research is that if you're in the USA and he does someday succumb to self harm, while you would lose child support, that may open up a survivor's benefit for your child and perhaps you as well. The amount of available support would depend upon his work history. One factor may be whether he has been reported as gainfully employed for 40 or more quarters.
https://www.ssa.gov/planners/survivors/ifyou3.html
https://www.ssa.gov/planners/survivors/ifyou4.html
If he should succumb to suicide, yes child support from him would of course end, then you should take advantage of other resources that are available.
Logged
Dontknow88
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 331
Re: Insuring child support payments? HELP
«
Reply #4 on:
October 12, 2016, 12:43:47 PM »
Quote from: ForeverDad on October 12, 2016, 09:11:45 AM
What Turkish suggested you research is that if you're in the USA and he does someday succumb to self harm, while you would lose child support, that may open up a survivor's benefit for your child and perhaps you as well. The amount of available support would depend upon his work history. One factor may be whether he has been reported as gainfully employed for 40 or more quarters.
https://www.ssa.gov/planners/survivors/ifyou3.html
https://www.ssa.gov/planners/survivors/ifyou4.html
If he should succumb to suicide, yes child support from him would of course end, then you should take advantage of other resources that are available.
Oh OK I don't live in the states we don't have anything like that here, from if a parent dies and they are on life insurance child support payment stops he is from the US but where I live it doesn't matter where he's from it matters where our child is born and our child wasn't born in the US. so my question is would it be horrible to ask him to include him on life insurance? we talked about it when we were together but we aren't now so would it still be weird to ask?
Logged
Thunderstruck
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 823
Re: Insuring child support payments? HELP
«
Reply #5 on:
October 12, 2016, 01:01:03 PM »
I was just discussing something like this with DH (we do live in the US). We're not concerned about self-harm with uBPDbm, but she does live a very risky lifestyle and has a weak heart.
I didn't know whether it was possible, but from my preliminary research we could take a policy out on uBPDbm since we have a vested interest on her still being alive and able to earn money (she's in theory paying half of SD's expenses). The trouble is that the person has to sign off on the policy and might need a physical (getting her to agree to that would be very tricky).
We're considering putting into our final CO a life insurance policy taken out on uBPDbm. I believe we would be the policy owners and pay the premiums and would make SD11 the beneficiary. It would just be nice to have a little college fund or car fund or whatever for SD if something ever happened to her mom.
Logged
"Rudeness is the weak person's imitation of strength."
"The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so. But we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitos and silly people." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
ForeverDad
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18438
You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...
Re: Insuring child support payments? HELP
«
Reply #6 on:
October 12, 2016, 02:11:11 PM »
On the other hand, life insurance may turn out to be expensive since his emotional health is questionable even if his physical health is okay. Do the application forms ask about history of mental or related issues?
Would it be less triggering for him to see if he would contribute to your child's education fund or some other arrangement to provide something in future years?
My raises, few as they are, haven't been enough to adjust for inflation. Some financial advisors are saying the global financial system is getting shaky. Reminds me how years ago my CS payments halted while I was paying alimony. The CSEA refused to hand back my $500 overpayment. I joked that when son would turn 18 ten years later and I got my frozen money released that I'd take him out to dinner and we'd enjoy a couple hamburgers. It may not be that bad (yet) but still a crash is a possibility.
Recently I've been switching some 'currency' (paper/fiat) to 'money' (in-hand gold or silver). Better to be prepared than surprised. Would Ex be agreeable to give your child, in your safekeeping, a silver coin every couple weeks? Right now an ounce or two of silver is relatively cheap. (It was about $15 until this year, then it rose to over $20, and has since retraced temporarily to under $18 USD. In a couple years, who knows? Some are predicting it could return to 2012-13 highs over $40. What I'm pondering are these differences: (1) As an investment type it would be less likely to be spent too quickly. (2) Ex may enjoy giving son that type of a tangible 'gift' and do so with less quibbling than with a check. (3) It would come in handy during an extended bank holiday like Cyprus experienced or the negative interest rates now levied in some banks and countries.
Logged
Catsmother
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 65
Re: Insuring child support payments? HELP
«
Reply #7 on:
October 12, 2016, 04:06:23 PM »
I would have thought that if the child were the beneficiary of life insurance then they would not be able to access the finds until they were 18 or 21 or whatever the age of majority is. And I am sure that your ex would not want you to get the money on his demise no matter how many promises you make. The death of a parent is usually a terminating event for child support. If he has not carried insurance before, then he probably won't now. If you were still together you would have the same issue.
Logged
Dontknow88
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 331
Re: Insuring child support payments? HELP
«
Reply #8 on:
October 12, 2016, 05:57:23 PM »
Quote from: Catsmother on October 12, 2016, 04:06:23 PM
I would have thought that if the child were the beneficiary of life insurance then they would not be able to access the finds until they were 18 or 21 or whatever the age of majority is. And I am sure that your ex would not want you to get the money on his demise no matter how many promises you make. The death of a parent is usually a terminating event for child support. If he has not carried insurance before, then he probably won't now. If you were still together you would have the same issue.
He has insurance now (hence that's why we talked about it) and he did talk about me being a beneficiary . But we had a big fall out (and thinks we are still friends) and I'm sure that's not the case anymore. he's telling family members is that he doesn't have a problem with me being a beneficiary he trust me when it comes to raising our child. I'm just curious and only a lawyer and him would know
Logged
HopefulDad
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorcing
Posts: 663
Re: Insuring child support payments? HELP
«
Reply #9 on:
October 13, 2016, 11:53:40 AM »
Life insurance policies don't necessarily pay out if cause of death is suicide. Something to consider.
Logged
Dontknow88
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 331
Re: Insuring child support payments? HELP
«
Reply #10 on:
October 13, 2016, 01:37:21 PM »
Quote from: HopefulDad on October 13, 2016, 11:53:40 AM
Life insurance policies don't necessarily pay out if cause of death is suicide. Something to consider.
Right. I am just terrified
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
Insuring child support payments? HELP
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...