Child support issue. Not worth it.

[Dontknow88]

Ok so my ex has a really high paying job making about $120,000 a year.

When he out of the blue broke up with me (he's personally unstable AKA High functioning but personal life messed up) he said he will be there for our son financially so he gave me a decent abount that would add up to $20,000 a year. (Legal amount for his country)

It's been 8 months of payments and now that he's moved on with someone else now he doesn't want to pay that about and wants to pay $8400 a year.

(Where I live the $8400 is the amount for his income due to supplements, where I live is expensive ) (the 20,000 is the legal amount is the legal amount for his country)


I'm not surprised this time that he broke another promise and the way he's going I now know for sure that our son will most likely not have a good/stable father/son relationship... .nothing surprises me anymore with this guy.

No amount of money is worth this.

Am I wrong to think like this? Like my last month of pregnancy I now know for sure I'm alone in this (parenting)

[Turkish]

That's a huge cut in support, a huge blow if you've been planning your loss 2based upon the higher amount.  His promises only seem to go so far as what he's legally liable for.  Do you know if this is true,  that he's only liable for this now?

[scraps66]

What is the current landscape, you are pregnant and expecting and ex just left?  If you are going this alone, whether you feel compelled to "make him pay" or not, you will need some money to support yourself, realistically.  So whether you want to fight him or not may be immaterial due to the practical need to support yourself and your child.  You can get an Order drawn up with minimal expense if you have an attorney and if ex will listen to reason (I know this could be a stretch for a BP) and agree to do it without going in front of a Master or Judge.  My guess from the sounds of it he will try to play games and you will have to file a petition, and get him in front of the court.

[Dontknow88]

That's a huge cut in support, a huge blow if you've been planning your loss 2based upon the higher amount.  His promises only seem to go so far as what he's legally liable for.  Do you know if this is true,  that he's only liable for this now?

Yes we are going through a separation agreement and he says he rather pay that then the higher amount even though he can more than afford the higher amount. also he's telling all his friends and family that he's letting me "win" Full custody but the truth is his lawyer even said you do not seem stable and you don't seem like you can handle a child right now.

I have noticed his promises are only for the moment it is a huge cut because of that amount I was able to move out and give my son a better life but now it looks like I'm going to have to go back home tell I have a better income.


he has moved on and I wouldn't be surprised if He listens to whatever his girlfriend say. before he wanted to be there for his child in anyway he can and now he wants to do the minimal and not even the minimal. I don't know if I'm a evil person for saying this but I really just want him out of my life and I don't think you'll even be good for of our sons life


The amount are used to get I was able to put some of it for his college fund and now I can't even take that

[Dontknow88]

What is the current landscape, you are pregnant and expecting and ex just left?  If you are going this alone, whether you feel compelled to "make him pay" or not, you will need some money to support yourself, realistically.  So whether you want to fight him or not may be immaterial due to the practical need to support yourself and your child.  You can get an Order drawn up with minimal expense if you have an attorney and if ex will listen to reason (I know this could be a stretch for a BP) and agree to do it without going in front of a Master or Judge.  My guess from the sounds of it he will try to play games and you will have to file a petition, and get him in front of the court.

I was pregnant and he left us when I was eight months pregnant now our son is eight months old. he was paying the higher amount of child support for the past eight months and now he wants to pay the minimal that really doesn't cover much. right now we are going through a separation agreement and it really doesn't seem fair

[scraps66]

I feel for you.  My ex did the opposite, trapped me with conception, we had a second child, but realized there were serious issues with her mental health.

I wouldn't look at what is fair because so much is not.  Concentrate on what you can do.  Courts DO NOT look favorably on father's that try to skirt the system.  Frankly, courts don't look favorably on fathers that do follow the system.  Many courts/counties receive kickbacks from the State that dispenses the child support payments to there is little incentive for the County Courthouse to reduce or not pay child support.  So you do have some leverage here. 

Whether he likes it or not, what he "wants" to pay has little to do with what he has to pay. It may be necessary to just do this the legal route and not discuss this with the father at all.   

[Dontknow88]

I feel for you.  My ex did the opposite, trapped me with conception, we had a second child, but realized there were serious issues with her mental health.

I wouldn't look at what is fair because so much is not.  Concentrate on what you can do.  Courts DO NOT look favorably on father's that try to skirt the system.  Frankly, courts don't look favorably on fathers that do follow the system.  Many courts/counties receive kickbacks from the State that dispenses the child support payments to there is little incentive for the County Courthouse to reduce or not pay child support.  So you do have some leverage here. 

Whether he likes it or not, what he "wants" to pay has little to do with what he has to pay. It may be necessary to just do this the legal route and not discuss this with the father at all.   

oh I'm sorry that happened to you, so what's the legal custody with you guys?


The issue is what he wants to pay now is the legal amount where I live ,for where the child is born. the amount before is where he lives which is not valid. what's valid here is the cheaper amount but I've been getting the higher amount for eight months now spending habits matches with that so now I have a huge loss.

I was thinking maybe fighting him for the higher amount would be a waste of time since it's not the legal amount for where I live. i'm top of that he doesn't want to contribution to a savings account for our child's college fund.

i'm also trying to figure out ways to get more because that amount doesn't help much there's nothing to save from that, i'm thinking about insurance for our child college fund and extracurricular activities I can't afford any of that anymore because you know food comes first