my adopted daughter is 17 BPD traits and has been running away

[believnit]

  My beautiful, sweet, agreeable and accommodating daughter is 17.   She used to be very compliant.  She was in a private school and was a good student.  She transferred to public school and a year later all hell is breaking loose.  She has been running away and having sex and now failing classes.   She was suicidal at school last spring and we took her into emergency.  It was there that they suggested that she might have BPD.  I did not think much of it until she started acting out this fall.  She was in therapy for early childhood trauma and all hell broke loose she began acting out.  First drinking, drinking and driving, indiscriminate sexual encounters, and has been running away.  She has also begun the silent treatment, for lack of a better phrase.  Im very worried about her, as I dont know who she is with or where she is most of the time.   She will get up and leave at 11m and there nothing I can do to stop her.  Looking for help and advice to know if running is typical with BPD teens, and for ideas for what effective strategies to help reduce/eliminate this dangerous behavior. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi believnit,

You must feel sick with grief and anxiety  

I'm so sorry your D17 is struggling like this, and the effect it must be having on you, and your family.

Are you considering having her evaluated by a psychiatrist to get a proper dx?

There is not much you can do to stop her from leaving, however there are relationship skills and boundaries that can help maintain your emotional health and strength so you can be strong enough for her.

Have you read BPD in Adolescence by Blaise Aguirre? He is a leading expert in BPD in teens and the book can help you view the behaviors from a therapeutic perspective.