I can't think clearly

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It's a nightmare everyday

[Egghead 56789]

It's a nightmare everyday

[ForeverDad]

That is precisely where a problem, acting out spouse wants you, confused, overwhelmed, convinced the only way for relief is appeasement, capitulation and compliance.  But that doesn't work, it only continues the stress, the pain and the stuck feeling.

You don't have to post all details here, we understand that anonymous posting can help you feel less unsafe.  But we do need enough to know in what ways we can be effective peer support for you.  We've been there, done that.  Take advantage of our hard-won experience.

To continue my thought above, your goal needs to be that you get a measure of control back in your life, even if all it is for now is just your life and not so much (for now) the children's lives.  As the old illustration goes, when boarding an airplane the instructions are that in the event of an emergency you put your own oxygen mask first, then help the children and others.

So we don't want you to collapse worrying about every issue.  Can you give some insight into what the most urgent issues are so we can work on those first?

Meanwhile, our best handbook, quite inexpensive, is Bill Eddy's Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  As for insight on how to help your child, you may benefit from reading Richard Warshak's Divorce Poison.

[Ove120062]

Yes, it can be. There will be days that are not as bad. Remember, those days will happen. Eventually you will even have good days, but there are times that BPD people will try to bring you to your knees. It sounds like this is one of those times. Stay strong and know you are not alone. You may feel alone at times but I assure you; many have been in bad situations, and are currently going through them now. Please give us some insight into why you are feeling this way. In doing so you will get some good advice for things you can do for you that will likely improve the situation. If nothing else it will give you perspective on how to look at the situation with a little more clarity.