Introduction

[Namedos]

Hi there, my wife and I are new to the forum. We have a beautiful AD-14 who we have had so many challenges with. With some new psych help we were directed to some BPD books. The one I've been reading lately is BPD in Adolescents. It seems to fit in many ways. Looking forward to reading entries here as it always so helpful to know you aren't alone with these struggles.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi Namedos,

That's a very helpful book, it's good that you found it. Blaise Aguirre has some youtube videos online that I also found helpful. My son was dx'd ADHD/ADD combined type, depression/anxiety, OCD, ODD, and reading that book helped me change my parenting + communication approach drastically, enough that S15 no longer has suicidal ideation. Learning to validate was a big game changer.

Both Shari Manning (Loving Someone with BPD) and Valerie Porr's books are helpful. I also found I Hate You, Don't Leave Me to have some helpful advice on dealing with double bind kinds of scenarios (e.g. "If you do x, I'm going to kill myself )

Do you have other kids? Is your D14 in regular school and managing ok? How early did you start to notice something was different?

Glad you found the site, and hope you'll let us know more about your family's struggles when you feel ready.

LnL

[Namedos]

We adopted her when she was 3 out of foster care. Fortunately we were her second placement. We know she had some early child trauma - left with strangers, foraging for own food, mom was on drugs while pregnant. 

She had attachment disorders early on. Diagnosed with dyslexia and ADD.  Primarily been in public schools but we recently tried a little over a year in private (which she hated).   Gets by in school. Has conflict with teachers and it rotates who she likes then doesn't like. Burns thru friends and this has always been an issue. Now dealing with drug use and binging and purging.

We've been dealing with self-harm for a couple years, suicide attempt, raging, lot of hate directed at parents.  Home life with her is VERY tough right now. 

Trying to get lots of help. AD-14 just changed to a new psych who specializes in eating disorders. Wife and I are seeing a psych to help with parenting. Individually wife and I are both seeing T as we are feeling extremely beat down.

We do have two older bio-sons. Both on their own in different cities, married and starting careers.