My niece

[Chairodregez]

Hi,

Thank you for allowing me to join your group.

My niece was diagnosed with BPD a while back, although I believe she has suffered from it for many years prior. I have educated myself on symptons, traits and the like. My family and I have been supportive, but we have hit a wall and I am asking for your support, as the last negative communication comes from her sister that thinks we don't care about her (because we haven't responded to the last communication  from my niece which got nastier and nastier, which I understand is part of the illness). Her sister's
message was very hateful, but, I think also, a cry for help. Any suggestions would be welcome. I intend to really dive in here and learn because even though my niece thinks this part of the family in evil incarnate, I love her, and we all want to support her during this illness.

Thank you,
Chai

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hello Chai and welcome to bpdfamily, I'm glad you found us, you are not alone.    

So sorry to hear what you dealing with your niece and have hit a wall with her recent nasty communication and as you describe a possible cry for help from her sister? To the right of the screen are tools and lessons that help us better understand and learn how we are able to change our behaviour and communication styles for positive outcomes. Take your time, as I and many here learn this is not a sprint, small steps work. Have a look the lesson 'know good v bad triangulation', just wondering if that may help you consider both of your nieces? Does your BPD niece fear abandonment, maybe that is what your non BPD niece is trying to express on her behalf? 

How old are your nieces, are they living at home, near you, sounds as though they are emailing you?  How has your niece taken the diagnosis, you say it was a while back, has she accepted or is in denial, is she in treatment? 

You are doing the right thing, educating yourself - educating myself about my daughter's emotional disorder (yes I'm still learning over 12 months in) and working through the positive changes I can make for myself are the greatest gifts I can give my 28yr daughter, same for her loving family and friends.

I'm wondering how the parents are coping?  You'll read here how important it is we care for ourselves first to be able to walk with our loved ones.

Take care, of you too, and keep posting - always helps

WDx