Introduction - hello from Washington state 14yo daughter with deferred BPD dx

[boulder_baby]

Hi,
My 14yo daughter has a deferred diagnosis of BPD (because of her age), along with:
-Unspecified Disruptive, Impulse control and Conduct disorder
-Persistent depressive disorder

Everything started to go downhill around age 12 when I discovered she was self-harming.  Then add sexting, unstable relationships with peers, irritability, uncontrolled anger, poor hygiene, impulsivity, low self esteem over the next two years.  She started high school (9th) grade 2+ months ago and everything went from bad to worse:  flunking grades, skipping classes, promiscuity, exaggerated lies, physical violence towards me (mother) and running away from home & school.  Sometimes she runs away for no reason at all?

She has been going to therapy 2x/week since the age of 12 and just completed a year of weekly peer DBT group.  The past two months, she has started refusing to attend therapy/group sessions (by running away from school half way through the school day and then not reappearing until the following day). 

She is currently on lamictal & abilify for 1+ years - which she says helps with her depression and anxiety, but does nothing for her anger/irritability.

We ended up sending her to residential treatment in Oregon six days ago.  It isn't the best fit - it has only a small DBT portion to their treatment and a majority of kids there are in for substance abuse - but we need her to be somewhere safe while we figure out the next step.  While she was resistant to RTC at first (we had to send her via secured transport), she has since come around to it and is trying to make the best of the services they have to offer.  Rumor has it that our insurance will only pay for 3-5 weeks of treatment, but praying they will pay for her treatment for as long as she needs it. 

Her childhood and family life gives no clues to her behavior.  Normal family, financially stable, no divorce, no abuse, etc.  She has 3 younger siblings.  The only oddity/clue is that her biological father was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder when he was a teenager (20ish years ago) - and who knows how accurate that diagnosis was back then... .  Bio-dad signed his rights away when she was an infant, but my current husband immediately adopted her and has been in her life since she was 2 months old. 

If you are still reading - thank you for sticking it out with my long intro!  Looking forward to being a part of this group... .knowing there is help and support here means the world to me!









 

 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[drained1996]

 

Welcome boulder_baby, we are sorry you and your family are going through a tough time, but we certainly understand.  You've found the right place for support and some guidance.  Note to the right of the page some tools and lessons you may find helpful in your process.  Something I personally found very helpful was reading through the stories of others posted on this message board.  It gave light to the fact that I was not alone in my situation, and it gave some good education and great insight to read through many of the threads. 
Dealing with a person with BPD can be very emotionally and mentally draining, make sure you take the time to take care of yourself during this process as well.
Another thing I found in my experience, was the more I posted and shared, the more I got back in return!  We are here, you are certainly not alone in your struggles!