I'm bitter and angry

[bus boy]

I'm back to where I was this time last year. BPD/NPD's will never stop hurting you. I listened to all the wrong people, the trained experts. The only person who was bang on through out all of this was my 70 year old father with grade 8, harnessing horses when he was 10 years old to go work in the woods cutting pulp. If I listened to him I would not be back to ground zero. I'm bitter right now but if your children are older and you have a reasonable court order or get a reasonable court order, run with it. My son is 10, in 2 years he will be able to make up his own mind and with the mental control Xw has over s10, I am and always will be his second choice. I'm going to take what I get this time and shut er down. I could give sweet flying f**k what Xw does to me any more. I will be the best father I can be to s10. I'm a hermit, I don't leave my house only to work or do what I must. I've done everything right, even family court called me an exemplary father. My dad was right. My fight us over. I will show s10 unconditional love but I can't go through anymore pain. S10 doesn't like anything I like, when he does its short lived, he spends much more time with his mothers BF than he does with me, in his whole life I have never been validated in it, his mom validates everything BF does with s10. The die is cast. Xw holds all the power, even things she did that were not with s10's best thoughts in mind were not looked at by the judge Bc he said, it's in the order, she had every legal right to do what she did, even though it was not best for s10 only her need to keep hurt going. When the new order comes foe in 3 weeks I'll take it and run. Being a good father or bad father means nothing when you are up against a devious manipulator. They will just get up on the stand and create a story Taylor made to suit them.