Had to talk to s10

[bus boy]

S10 was home from school last Friday Bc he was sick, I was not told,I knew nothing about it. I had to talk to s10 about texting. I showed him my texts to him, 10 days of texts, 2 per day, 1 good morning, 1 for good night. He just looks at me. I told him I wanted to see his phone and asked him why he always responds to texts from his mothers BF and not my texts. S10 did not answer. Xw BF knew my son had to come home sick and I didn't. I struggle bad with this. Xw seems to have gave her BF a place in my sons life that she did her best to keep from me. I had to fight for every bit of access. I just cannot grasp why she portrays me as an unsuitable parent. And why she makes it look like her BF had to step up to the plate, like I'm absent out of my sons life. I think it's wrong Xw BF texts my son on my access time and it's wrong s10 respond to BF's texts and not mine.

[Ananass]

Hang in there. Fight for your rights but do so in a calm manner. Make sure you agree on what is right and what is wrong. Use the court system and document all your concerns. It will get better. Make sure the issues are addressed on parenting plan and fully outlined, not just assumed. Wish you well.

[whirlpoollife]

It might be that he is afraid to respond to you while in the presence of the other two. With phone calls , my xh  would ,and still does to D, grill them on what they were doing . They would answer. But if I asked what they were doing when I had called them while at xh,  I never got an answer.  There was no voice  from them to me when I would call them when they were with xh.  I never put them down for talking to him and didn't ask what he said so maybe (I hope) they were more comfortable on the phone when they were with me.  But I didn't want to give up , give in , to what xh was doing.  I wanted kids to hear my voice. So I read to them , short stories,  trivia , jokes, bible verses.  I felt they were more at ease with that. 
Keep the communication that you started with your S open. Don't let that go, hang on to it!
Asking him "why" might be hard for him to comprehend to answer.  Maybe try telling him how you feel.    "That makes me sad when I text you and I don't hear from you" 

And after he is with you and on his way to xw , ask him in a fun way, " Ok now when I text you are you going to text back?" " what are you going to do when I text? Huh?"  " I look forward to hearing from you , it makes me happy".  " Ok, I miss you when you are not here " etc you have the idea.  Do your best to sound upbeat, even though it's harsh to you to let him go.
Are you allowed to call him ?   Instead of a short story , start reading a chapter book. So he wants to know the next chapter and wants your call.   

[Turkish]

"He just looks at me. "

Like a deer in the headlights? Can you imagine what it's like to be him?

It's likely that his mom and maybe her boyfriend are doing the same thing you did,  checking his phone.  What might be his core feeling here? Maybe it's fear? How can you validate him without triggering him?

I'm not saying what you did is wrong at all.  It would bother me greatly, even piss me off. However,  maybe you can turn this around without seeming like you're trying to control him (which it seems his mom and bf are, by acting like the KGB).

Maybe you can validate him by saying that you love him,  and that if he doesn't return your texts,  it doesn't change the fact that you love him. Even so,  you'll still send the good morning and good night texts,  nothing more, and that if he doesn't answer,  that's OK,  reiterate that you still love him.  He may not show it,  but I'd bet he'd be relieved.

It sounds like the cat's long out of the bag by taking away the cell when he's with you,  but he might feel safer and less anxious if he feels secure with you,  not being put into the middle of something that his mom and bf already do.  

[bus boy]

Hi Turkish, I can only imagine how s10 feels. I do text him anyway, good morning and good night and tell him no matter what I will always love him. I don't want s10 to feel anxious when he doesn't return my texts. He gets that enough from home.