Self destructive behavior and how to set limits

[Outofsteam]

BPD adult child has ended up in the hospital again due to her binge drinking.
I feel myself withdrawing and I don't want to get to the point of walking away.
I'm tired, tired of the self destruction. Any ideas?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[drained1996]

 

Hello outofsteam, and welcome to the family.  We understand your situation, here you will find support and helpful information that when implemented can better your situation. 
We cannot expect to change them, so our best option is to change how we react and communicate with our BPD.  Specifically to the title of you post, the tools to the right has a section on communicating boundaries and limits. 
I found educating myself on BPD, and practicing the communication techniques suggested to be a great start in helping my situation. 
I also experienced that sharing here was very therapeutic, and that the more I shared the more I got in return.  You've found the right place!  Do you feel comfortable enough to share some more background about your situation?
What age is your daughter?  Has she had any treatment?  Willing to participate in therapy? 
Do you see a therapist?
We look forward to hearing more.  We are here.   

[Deckchairs]

Hello outofsteam! I could have written your post. I understand how difficult it becomes when dealing with these children when substance abuse is involved. It is soo exhausting. At times we just need to get through the next minute  and just breath. Wishing you peace.

[Outofsteam]

Thanks, I think I did find the right place.
Daughter is 37 years old. 3 attempted suicides, and a long history of binge drinking. It's very hearbreaking to watch her implode her life frequently.
She has been admitted to Psych hospitals 3 different times. She has been in and out of counseling. She goes for awhile and then quits. 
She has had pancreatitis twice due to her binging. She had court ordered antibuse but figured out when she could drink on it.
I have not sought counseling but need to. Husband is a great source of support, as well as my other children.
I have been reading up on this site. There is a lot of good information!
Thanks for the replies

[drained1996]

Yes outofsteam, you are in the right place!  I am sure you and your husband will find a good therapist who understands personality disorders to be a great help as many here have.  There is a lot of helpful information and guidance on this site which is great to hear you are taking advantage of.  (yes, I ended a sentence with a preposition... .mother would sacrifice me).  There will be ups and downs in your journey, but you will always find understanding support here.  Knowledge is power, and there is plenty of knowledge to be learned here, as well as empathetic support.   Keep us up to date, and feel free to post anything anytime!