just starting to learn about this

[klf]

My 21 year old daughter has been diagnosed with BPD. Looking back over the past few years it's clear to me that she definitely has been showing signs of it. At first it got diagnosed as depression, and she initially responded really well to treatment. Over the past year though she's switched from medication to medication with no real improvement until finally she ended up in the hospital after trying to hurt herself when her boyfriend threatened to break up with her (even though she had been planning to break up with him). That's when they told her she has "mild BPD".

Is it common for people with BPD to only start showing signs of this in their late teens/early 20s? My daughter was always a quite pleasant child; we never had any of these issues until the last year or two of high school (and at the time I attributed the behavior to a move and having to switch schools). The characteristic behaviors I'm learning about had been pretty sporadic since then - she went off to university with only a few hiccups in the first two years, but this past year has been dreadful. It just seems to be worsening with time.

She had been pretty high functioning - I think - until now. She seemed to reserve her rages and impulsiveness for me (and given the timing of all this I assumed she was just being a moody teenager) and managed to 'put on a good face' for most other people. She did well at school for her first 2 years. But now she isn't doing well at all. She dropped out of school. She hardly interacts with friends. She tells me that she feels depressed for many hours every day. I've seen her when it's happening... .it's just written all over her face, she's just miserable. She has tried to tell me how it feels, and she says during those times everything seems horrible and bad and annoying, and she doesn't like herself or anyone around her. It seems to be worse at night, but sometimes lasts all day. Nothing I say or do seems to help it. She says that every day she thinks about killing herself and I am the only reason she doesn't. I'm scared all the time that she will.

She is currently seeing a psychiatrist once a week, and they have been upping her doses of medications all the time. She also sees a psychologist once a week for DBT and goes to group therapy once a week. I'm lucky in that she accepts the diagnosis, has learned about it, and is willing to go for treatment (and that I can afford it!). It just doesn't seem to be doing much very quickly, and I'm worried she is going to give up if she doesn't start seeing some tangible results.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[drained1996]

 

Hello there klf... .and welcome to the family.  You've found a place full of people that understand... .many have been or are in the same situation your are experiencing now.  You are not alone!  
It's great to hear that your daughter is willing to accept therapy.  :)o not be discouraged, things do not typically progress quickly, simply be happy she is willing right now.  
As for you, how are you doing?  Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of her as well.  Are you also seeking a therapist to help guide you through this?  I know that helped tremendously in my experience, as well as many others here.
I will point you to the right side of this page... .there you will find some tools and lessons you will find helpful along the way.  Try not to overwhelm yourself with learning... .as it is a process.  It's there anytime you need... .just as we are here.  You've found the right place for support and understanding!  

Something I can look back on in my experience... .was the more I shared, the more I got in return.  So feel free to post, and start new threads with specific questions if you have them.  You are safe here.  We look forward to hearing from you and how things are progressing.