Hi JLopez,
I am very sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you right now, but it is great to see you reaching out for help and support - a very brave and scary thing to do
This board is a support group for parents who have a son or daughter with BPD, so many of the posts could be triggering to a BPD sufferer. There are resources of the type you're seeking:
Resources for BPD Sufferers.
JLopez, you can have a life worth living. The book Beyond Borderline has many stories of wonderful people like you who have gone on to lead lives worth living. It is hard work, and you are worth it.
Big hug to you