Goal today is listening to Walking on Eggshells

[Sadgirl92]

I purchased Eggshells audiobook. going to listen driving in car and at work. I have listened to a few chapters and so far I like what I hear.
I see and hear the word empathy a lot. I have a hard time with empathy when it comes to my daughter. The things she says and does are really mean. Very hard to be empathic to that. But if it works I will try.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

I would find it hard to have empathy with someone who punches me, too.

Sometimes a break is needed so you can shore up the emotional strength needed to have empathy.
I found I had to start taking care of myself like it was the most important thing in the world, nothing could get in the way. So, empathy started with me.

Then I built up enough to have some surplus.

[Sadgirl92]

I would find it hard to have empathy with someone who punches me, too.

Sometimes a break is needed so you can shore up the emotional strength needed to have empathy.
I found I had to start taking care of myself like it was the most important thing in the world, nothing could get in the way. So, empathy started with me.

Then I built up enough to have some surplus.

This is awesome. I really like this. I am going to try. Thank u

[livednlearned]

I have to do things to maintain empathy.

When SO's D19 lived with us, I found that certain books increased my compassion and empathy. Buddha and the Borderline, Beyond Borderline are two books that helped me have empathy for the pain and suffering they are trying to cope with. I would read them and noticed they gave me some strength to abide her.

Loving Someone with BPD by Shari Manning is also compassionate, and has some good skills to share.

If you feel resentful right now, I Hate You, Don't Leave Me has lots of validation for taking care of yourself (plus some good skills).

All the skills you learn to deal with someone who suffers from BPD can be applied to any relationship, including to yourself. So there is a silver lining, altho it can feel like a full transformation of your own personality to be able to appreciate it.

If you need to create a safe space for yourself, it's important to start there. You cannot be an emotional leader, which is what people with BPD need, if you are being physically abused.