Court finally over and did not go well

[LilMe]

I followed the advice here and other places and kept journals, recordings, took pictures of bruises and welts he left on the children, etc. He denied it all, somehow got a police officer to lie, and blatantly lied himself. They said our children 7 and 8 were too young to talk to anyone and my lawyer didn't supboena their counselor.  I got fined 1000 and he gets to make all decisions about medical and education and we will share 50 50 custody.
I can't belive I let this person take everything from me and damage all my children. The older ones still have nightmares and are in counseling because of seeing him abuse me when they were young.
So he gets them until Xmas night. They are upset because he doesn't even celebrate  Christmas. I miss a week of work because of court and xmas. I am broke and no presents. I owe him 6000 (1000 fine and I have to buy him out of my car because his name is on title 5000). My income so far this year is 6000. He still is holding everything I own. My lawyer was free but sucks. Merry Christmas to me.

[oshinko maki]

I am so sorry you are going through such a horrific time. Legal decisions seem to depend too much on the skills of greedy lawyers and indifferent if not incompetent courts. It is a (potential at least) cesspool I continue to avoid. No documentation is enough. I could have a video of when many years my wife in a rage stabbed me with chopsticks, while I was even holding our son, or other damning videos, so to speak, but it could all too easily be disallowed as any kind of evidence or otherwise rendered worthless. I just joined this site recently and have seen so many horror stories of bad legal outcomes that I am more afraid than ever to attempt divorce. I try to think in non-legal practical terms, whether it is physical separation -- just living apart one day or avoiding in the same household, or physical custody and constant knowledge of my child's safety. I am trying to say that you may want to do whatever you can besides the legal avenues, e.g., talk with everyone involved towards getting more of what you want (more time with children, less financial burden, etc.), communicating with the pwBPD via email or whatever means leads to the least destructive responses.
Again I feel terrible that you are going through such a nightmare now, and I hope that you wake sooner than later to find that you are in or at least heading toward a much better place. Please do not give up hope. And yes, Merry Christmas to you! even though I am not Christian!