New to the board

[JCMSMom]

Hello everyone!
I have just discovered this website based on reading "Walking on Eggshells".  My husband and I are parents to a 15 year old who has recently spent 5 weeks in the hospital (first with an anxiety crisis, then readmitted after a brief discharge due to self-harm with suicidal intent).  We were completely naive to a number of destructive behaviors that appear to have been going on for a year, including some drug use. BPD has been proposed as a likely diagnosis, and it certainly seems to fit. We are fortunate that she has been able to access a therapeutic school program since discharge from the hospital.  :)espite this, every day seems to be a roller coaster and it feels like it is taking forever to really get going with treatment.  We are beginning to get back to more normal life, and having our older daughter home for the holidays has been helpful.  
I look forward to learning from this website, and hopefully to establishing a more constructive environment in our family.  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi JCMSMom

There is a lot going on with your daughter, I can imagine how hard this must be for you and your husband. As parents it's never easy to see your child struggle like that.

Doctors are often reluctant to diagnose teenagers with BPD, but if the symptoms seem to fit, it does seem wise to explore this option so your daughter can get targeted treatment. Perhaps you can benefit from this thread:
Early signs of possible BPD traits in your children

Your daughter has access to a therapeutic school program since her discharge from the hospital. Is she currently getting targeted treatment for her suicidal ideation and self-harming behaviors?

You liken your every day life with your daughter to a roller coaster, a term many of our members have used to describe their experiences with their BPD family-members. What would you say are the biggest issues you are currently still facing with your daughter?

As you get started here, I encourage you to take a look at the tools and lessons in the right-hand side margin of this board. Those resources can help you in your interactions with your daughter as you try to establish a more constructive family environment.

Welcome to  bpdfamily

[livednlearned]

Hi JCSMSMom,

I'm so sorry for your daughter's downward spiral. It had to be awful (mixed with relief?) that she was hospitalized.

Did anyone at the hospital recommend Blaise Aguirre's book BPD in Adolescence? It is a very insightful and informative book by a leading expert in teen BPD, and even if your D15 is not diagnosed, much of what he describes is extremely helpful. (Especially the parts about the pros of diagnosing teens, what drives the manipulative behaviors, and validation, the key skills to master with an emotionally vulnerable child). There are also some youtube videos featuring Dr. Aguirre that might help you make sense of what's going on.

I just read an article that said BPD behaviors in adolescence seem to peak at 15, then tend to decline until 17 or so until plateauing between 17-19.

I'm glad you found the site there are others going through the same thing (the holidays can be a bit quiet), so know that you are not alone, and that we are here to walk with you.

LnL