Hi Wallsaroundme: What you describe is abuse. You can be abused, without things getting physical. In your prior thread, we discussed a safety plan for physical abuse. Without your husband getting physical, you are still being abused. You describe yourself as a prisoner. You aren't locked in by chains, but by fear and intimidation.
I think you are in the US. The link below is to a Domestic Abuse Hotline. They have a "Chat Button", so you could initiate an online chat with someone. Perhaps you could share your story with someone who specializes in helping those who are abused. You could copy and paste most of what you shared above, into a chat window and quickly initiate an online chat. You should be able to engage in an online chat, while still on the phone with you husband.
It could be valuable to gain their input. Here is the address:
www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/The quote below is from their website:Domestic violence doesn’t look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. But one thing most abusive relationships have in common is that the abusive partner does many different kinds of things to have more power and control over their partners.
If you’re beginning to feel as if your partner or a loved one’s partner is becoming abusive, there are a few behaviors that you can look out for. Watch out for these red flags and if you’re experiencing one or more of them in your relationship, call or chat online with an advocate to talk about what’s going on.
- Telling you that you can never do anything right
- Showing jealousy of your friends and time spent away
- Keeping you or discouraging you from seeing friends or family members
- Insulting, demeaning or shaming you with put-downs
- Controlling every penny spent in the household
- Taking your money or refusing to give you money for expenses
- Looking at you or acting in ways that scare you
- Controlling who you see, where you go, or what you do
- Preventing you from making your own decisions
- Telling you that you are a bad parent or threatening to harm or take away your children
- Preventing you from working or attending school
- Destroying your property or threatening to hurt or kill your pets
- Intimidating you with guns, knives or other weapons
- Pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
- Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol
