First post

[Clide4]

First post. I have been with a woman for 14 years and am now at the end of options. The personality traits listed are similar to what I have been dealing with. Not sure what to say and I type slow. What I hear about those living with a BPD partner is that it boils down to either learn to live with the abuse or leave. I'm on the fence in this and only want what's best for my 11 year old daughter.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[drained1996]

Hi Clide4,



We are glad you found us, but sorry for the circumstances that you are dealing with.  Tough having a partner with BPD traits... .add a child in the mix and it can feel a little overwhelming.  I see you say you are on the fence.  Would you like to explain a little more about your thoughts and feelings?  Nobody here will judge you, you've found a safe place to share and get feedback and direction.  We are not here to tell you what to do, but we can give you feedback and share our own knowledge and experiences which you may take into account in your own thought process.  You've found the right place.  It's ok to say you are lost... .but if you have something sticking out in your mind... .might be helpful to share.   

[Meili]

 

I want to join drained in welcoming you.

I do not agree with the ideology that you either have to live with the abuse or leave. There are things that you can do, like setting boundaries, that can protect you from the abuse. Also, there are ways ending the conflict so that the abuse may never occur to begin with. It's not 100% fool proof, but there are tools and techniques that can certainly help.