Intro

[oliversmom]

I am the mother of a 30 yr. old adult son who was diagnosed with BPD in November following a suicide attempt. He has been struggling with alcohol and script abuse, factors which led to his job loss a year earlier. During the summer he lost his girlfriend of two years. He has been active growing marijuana and has a medical marijuana card. Over his life my son has experienced several losses and traumas. His dad has been in recovery for 30 years until his wife of 25 years passed away to an aggressive cancer about a year ago. His dad relapsed then. My son felt that he lost both a stepmom and a dad for a while. Yesterday I learned that my son did not show up for his therapy appointment not did he call to cancel. He had sent me some disturbing emails unloading his depression and pain. He wrote with a lot of profanity that all my advice was useless, that therapy was pointless, that everything was pointless. He added that he hoped his cats would be ok when he was gone. He further wrote that he just wants to be loved and everyone he cared about was dead or else didn't want to have anything to do with him. I emailed that I loved him and hoped he could repair some relationships. (He also noted that his relationship with his dad is over). He wrote back 'maybe in the afterlife.' Although not a clear suicide threat I called an emergency crisis hotline after this to describe the situation. I believe that a police social worker was going to call upon him to visit and check in. Last night I received an abusive email that I have now been blocked and am cut out of his life. I have not seen my son in weeks. He did not visit over the holidays. I just paid for his rent for last and this month, as he was talking of plans to start a dbt program a few hours north of where he lives. But he needed authorization from a doctor first. He missed his doctor's appointment and then abandoned the idea of getting help altogether.  His previous doctor and cbt therapist have dropped him because his behavior was out of line and disturbing. Police were called at one point following his verbal abuse to a receptionist. Now that he has no communication with family what happens now? He lives alone with no job, no structure, not the right meds, no doctor and very possibly no therapist. He had told me that his only friends were all felons and they are inspiring him to take risks. I think he is headed to the streets, jail, a hospital or the cemetery right now. Is there anything I can do?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi oliversmom and welcome to bpdfamily

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this overwhelming situation, my heart goes out to you.   You were right to call the crisis helpline, I'd have done the same, safety comes first.  Is there any possibility they'd do a follow up visit or provide you feedback, is the crisis helpline linked to his mental health care team?

I'm glad you found us, we are here walking with you oliversmom, you are not alone. You'll find  support and comfort from the great forum members here. My 28yr daughter was diagnosed July 2015 following a number of attempts, cries for help.

Have you been able to make contact with your son?

WDx