My BPD hub & his therapist have asked me to come to his session next week

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My BPD hub & his therapist have asked me to come to his session next week. This will be the 1st time I've met him. I met with his former therapist a couple years ago when he was first diagnosed (actually, the information I gave her helped her to diagnose his BPD).

I have 2 concerns with meeting this new therapist:

1) My hub recently told me that this new therapist told him that he doesn't think he has BPD, and therefore, now my husband doesn't think he is Borderline. He unquestionably DOES have it (meets all criteria & has been diagnosed with it by other professionals as well). I believe the reason his therapist said he doesn't is bc my hub probably has kept critical info from him. Either that, or therapist DOES think he has BPD but doesn't want to divulge the dx to him (I've heard that sometimes a therapist will expressly NOT tell a BPD that that is what they have).
2) Lying, mostly by way of omission, is a way of life for him, but when hub showed me his treatment goals, working on his problem with lying was not listed as a goal. Hub even admitted that he did not tell him about his compulsive lying.

Keeping in mind that hub will be present during the session (I have not been asked to meet alone with the therapist)... .
Should I discuss the BPD dx, and if so, how do I approach it?
Should I tell the therapist about his constant lying & any other behaviors he should be aware of?

Thanks in advance for your help/advice! 

[bananas2]

My BPD hub & his therapist have asked me to come to his session next week. This will be the 1st time I've met him. I met with his former therapist a couple years ago when he was first diagnosed (actually, the information I gave her helped her to diagnose his BPD).

I have 2 concerns with meeting this new therapist:

1) My hub recently told me that this new therapist told him that he doesn't think he has BPD, and therefore, now my husband doesn't think he is Borderline. He unquestionably DOES have it (meets all criteria & has been diagnosed with it by other professionals as well). I believe the reason his therapist said he doesn't is bc my hub probably has kept critical info from him. Either that, or therapist DOES think he has BPD but doesn't want to divulge the dx to him (I've heard that sometimes a therapist will expressly NOT tell a BPD that that is what they have).
2) Lying, mostly by way of omission, is a way of life for him, but when hub showed me his treatment goals, working on his problem with lying was not listed as a goal. Hub even admitted that he did not tell him about his compulsive lying.

Keeping in mind that hub will be present during the session (I have not been asked to meet alone with the therapist)... .
Should I discuss the BPD dx, and if so, how do I approach it?
Should I tell the therapist about his constant lying & any other behaviors he should be aware of?

Thanks in advance for your help/advice! 

[Naughty Nibbler]

Hi bananas2:     
I think therapists have different approaches.  You can always go to the first session and see how things go, or you could try to contact the therapist before the appt., state that you anticipate your husband may not share some important details and then ask the therapist how he/she would like to handle that.

Some therapists will spend a few minutes with each partner separately, during the first visit.  Others may not.  Some might have a couple sessions with each partner individually, but won't be the primary therapist for either partner for individual therapy.

The article at the link below can give you a point of view from a few therapists:
www.goodtherapy.org/blog/faq/can-i-talk-to-our-couples-therapist-without-my-partner-being-present

I hope things go well for you.