Hello

[Kmk2122]

I'm not really sure what I want to say so I'll just start. My wife of four years (together for 6) suffers from BPD and bipolar II, both of which remained undiagnosed until after she cheated on me a little over two years ago. She attempted to tear our lives apart once I confronted her about it.  She agreed to start seeing a psychologist after about six months of misery and she still goes.  She's on medications that she takes properly, but her mood, outlook on life, and treatment of me shifts on a 1-3 month interval.  She is 32 and I am 33. We have a 4 year old daughter together and I still love her.

I started seeing a psychiatrist to help me through the fallout of the cheating and I still go to keep healthy.  The time around and after the cheating was packed hurt for me and I still have not worked through all of the emotions.

Right now things aren't great, they've been worse, but this time it feels different for me.  I'm fed up and tired of being dragged along on the roller coaster.  I'm totally spent emotionally and cannot decide what I should do.  I came here when searching for some things to read about mental health issues and marriage.  I should note that my wife is good to my daughter - other than sleeping her childhood away.

Thank you for reading this.  There are massive holes of information, obviously.  It feels good to put some of it out there at least.  I look forward to your insights and to maybe helping someone else myself.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Kmk2122:   

I'm so sorry about the difficulties you are having with your wife. Cheating is a disturbing situation to deal with.  This is a good place to vent and share. There are others here with similar situations.   Interacting with other here and exploring some of the lessons, while in therapy, can be a winning combination.

There is a large green band at the top of this page.  One of the menus has a "Tools" title, that can be a good place to explore, as well as the links to the right of this post.  Obtaining or refining Boundary and Validation skills, can be a good place to start.  With setting boundaries, and using some communication skills, it can make things better for you.  It can take some effort, but it can lead to some good results.

Other than cheating, what are some of the specific problem behaviors you have to deal with?  Sounds like there is a problem with stabilizing her mood, and perhaps too much sleeping?

We look forward to hearing more of your particular struggles in your relationship, when you want to share more.