Will he ever stay away

[Eazie520]

My BPD ex cheated and left me 7 years ago. Since then he has come and gone more times than I can remember. Each time he gives me the "we need to end this" speech. He is currently married and has two children. He married his wife when she got pregnant just 2 months after they met. He has never let me go and anytime I show signs of moving on, here he comes.  I know I've allowed it, because I have so much love and compassion for him. Just a few days ago he ended our communication. This time he was very mean and cruel about it. I never know when it's going to be the LAST time. Will he ever just leave me alone?

[formflier]

I'm glad you have found us.  It certainly sounds like you have a confusing relationship situation on your hands. 

The good news for you is that many people, just like yourself, have been able to use bpdfamily to educate themselves about the strange and confusing relationship issues that, like your ex, seem to keep showing up... .again... .and again... .and again...

 

Hang in there!

Will he ever just leave me alone?

No... .he wont.

This really depends more on you... .than on him. 

Can you tell us how the pattern normally plays out.  Give us some he said she said.  With that we can get you pointed in the right direction.

Big picture:  Most pwBPD (shorthand for people with BPD traits) do not respect boundaries.  There are various reasons for this.  Critical thing is for YOU to respect boundaries.  Yours and those of others.

Again... .very glad you found us.  I'm positive we can help stabilize your life... .perhaps even help you to thrive again!     How does that sound?

FF

[Eazie520]

I'm glad you have found us.  It certainly sounds like you have a confusing relationship situation on your hands. 

The good news for you is that many people, just like yourself, have been able to use bpdfamily to educate themselves about the strange and confusing relationship issues that, like your ex, seem to keep showing up... .again... .and again... .and again...

 

Hang in there!

No... .he wont.

This really depends more on you... .than on him. 

Can you tell us how the pattern normally plays out.  Give us some he said she said.  With that we can get you pointed in the right direction.

Big picture:  Most pwBPD (shorthand for people with BPD traits) do not respect boundaries.  There are various reasons for this.  Critical thing is for YOU to respect boundaries.  Yours and those of others.

Again... .very glad you found us.  I'm positive we can help stabilize your life... .perhaps even help you to thrive again!     How does that sound?

FF

... we've had many dialogues around him leaving. However, he is ALWAYS the one who leaves. The past two years he has been somewhat civil when he stops talking to me.  But usually we will be doing pretty well considering the circumstances. It's usually when the mother of his kids finds out tht he is still talking to me that he panics and leaves. In the beginning it was "we need to move on from this. We can't keep talking. I need to be a better dad". But lately it's been "let's just wait til this all settles with my divorce. I will always come back". He is also notorious for telling me he doesn't love me anymore even though hours before he was being so loving and telling me how much he loves me and misses me.  This last time it was very traumatic. He called and I could tell he was in a panic because of his angry rambling. He wouldn't let me talk, and stated that he "loves the mother of his kids" and wants to be with her.  He then told me if I ever want any of my money back that I need to get an attorney  and gonafter him. He blocked me  from allcontact.  He hasn't done this in a long time. I'm thinking maybe he is finally done? I'm just lost.