BPD and diagnosing others

[Bamboo]

My uBPD (diagnosed Bipolar) soon-to-be ex-wife has an undergraduate degree in psychology, and by her own account, being raised by a mother with with severe mental illness influenced her decision to pursue that course of study.

During our relationship she would often diagnose others with psychological and personality disorders. When we met she was coming out of personal/professional relationships with three narcissists. A family friend with whom she had periodic conflict was, according to her, BPD. Another classmate and friend had histrionic tendencies. At her current workplace, one coworker is BPD, the former supervisor was a sociopath. Over the years she convinced me I was on the autism spectrum, possibly mild Aspergers, with characteristics of multiple personality disorders... .

Of course I believed all of these diagnoses, because she holds degrees in psychology and nursing. For what it's worth, my therapist believes her diagnosis of me is bunk.

So, is diagnosing others a characteristic of BPD? Is it a form of projection? Or are certain people with BPD traits drawn to others with similar personality traits?

[ArleighBurke]

I'm always suprised - my BPD wife often tells me that "she can see I'm feeling X" when I am not. I have read somewhere that they find it hard to pickup on other people's emotions - which suprises me because I thought they'd have to be really good at it to manipulate people so well. (Although they aren't very subtle with emotion, so maybe not). My wife also calls me an unemotional robot - because I don't allow her to rile me up - but she doesnt see when I cry with the kids, or am super excited about something.

[Bamboo]

I'm always suprised - my BPD wife often tells me that "she can see I'm feeling X" when I am not. I have read somewhere that they find it hard to pickup on other people's emotions - which suprises me because I thought they'd have to be really good at it to manipulate people so well. (Although they aren't very subtle with emotion, so maybe not). My wife also calls me an unemotional robot - because I don't allow her to rile me up - but she doesnt see when I cry with the kids, or am super excited about something.

Interesting. That was another aspect of our relationship. My wife believes she is an empath, and she was constantly physically and emotionally exhausted from taking on the emotions of others. Toward the end of our relationship, when things were disintegrating, she told me she though I hated and resented her. Neither was accurate, in fact quite the opposite. But her response was, "That's what I felt."

And I give you a lot of credit for remaining calm, ArleighBurke. That was perhaps one of my failures as a husband to her.

[Cantthinkofaname]

I'm always suprised - my BPD wife often tells me that "she can see I'm feeling X" when I am not. I have read somewhere that they find it hard to pickup on other people's emotions - which suprises me because I thought they'd have to be really good at it to manipulate people so well.

I don't know what to believe about that. Some sources say they can easily pick up emotions and such and others say the opposite.

[empath]

My take is that they are sensitive to emotional states, but unable to interpret those well or accurately. Their interpretations of the emotions of others are usually negative. For example, my husband has believed that I'm angry or judging him almost all the time.

He used to work in a counseling related field, and he seems to be very interested in that area. However, he has a hard time understanding if there are emotions that are not negative.