NotWendy, that's a fascinating angle to consider sociopathy. I sometimes wonder if labels are just insurance purposes and mental health in reality is just a tangle of behaviors that harm the self, others or relationships. But it's good to know, in order to arrange legal protection for yourself as you have done, if you might be dealing with a sociopath.
I haven't either. And now that I'm NC I never will, and that's for the best, because I do not want to be charmed back in to the disordered family dynamic. It's soul-draining and I can see how hard you're struggling with your mom in assisted living (I'm helping a disordered neighbor in a similar situation but that's easier because she isn't my mom) and witnessing your struggle, am glad I won't be dealing with that. It is awful and very unfair to you and her caregivers!
Yes, I think having to have a label has probably been driven by insurance codes. I think they do help in some situations. The PD's overlap too. It is easier to deal with someone who isn't our own mothers. I recall an elderly lady in our community. Her daughters didn't visit her. She was pleasant with visitors. That made me think it was possible she was pleasant with other people and different with them. I think for everyone here - going NC has been an decision based on years of heartbreaking and abusive behavior. It's not anything they'd have chosen if the situation was different.