First post Need help

[Sudlynn]

Hi. Years ago the Psychiatrist suggested my daughter had traits of histrionic personality disorder. Then that was dismissed. She as a diagnosis of combined presentation adhd, ocd (intrusive thoughts) and generalized anxiety. There is anxiety. She can be mood and there is a lot of stepping on eggshells. There is a big strain on her relationship with friends, roommates and siblings, particularly her sister.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi Sudlyn
My DD is diagnosed with BPD but I am sure she also has both histrionic personality disorder and ADHD. These things overlap for some people and it can be difficult to tease out the signs and symptoms of any particular disorder.

Personally I think that treating anxiety can have a positive effect on the other conditions. In my case, when DD has taken a simple antidepressant/anxiety medication, the bar at which the  symptoms of the other conditions are triggered is quite a bit higher. My DD copes with more 'normal' things like a doctor's appointment when on meds.

Also when she is on the meds I can see more clearly the BPD - fear of abandonment and need for attention are very clearly up front then.

You probably have guessed by now that - yes - my DD doesn't stay on the medication! Now I do understand that these meds can have side effects and some people can find these too much. What I would like though is a healthy discussion about this and willingness to try others just to see if something works okay.

But we never get to that point, it's just that she stops taking the tablets and I can't get her to the doctor to discuss anything.

The effects of the conditions you mention are so difficult for everyone. I hope you are able to find time to care for yourself and to appreciate your own life even though it has extraordinary challenges.

Thank you for posting. It helps us all to be able to read about others' journeys.

[Sancho]

PS Sudlyn if you feel able, can you write a little about the particular challenges you have so we can hopefully suggest a couple of things that may/may not be helpful?

[CC43]

Hi there,

It seems that the “Cluster B” disorders have many overlapping traits which can make changing and multiple diagnoses the norm rather than the exception. The words “moodiness” and “anxiety” are very common on these boards!  With BPD, its sufferers can have a very hard time recognizing and dealing with emotions, so it can be no wonder why diagnosing the problem(s) can be tricky.

I think the good news is that BPD is treatable, if the patient is willing to accept that something’s not right and makes efforts to change. DBT therapy can work, as I’ve witnessed with my diagnosed stepdaughter. Mood stabilizers and medication to treat anxiety can be helpful too—as long as the patient sticks to the prescription. I guess the key is for the patient to buy into the process of therapy and  medication(s). The downside is that the patient probably has to hit bottom before deciding to get help. The thing is, BPD comes with very disordered thinking, and the tendency is to blame others, especially parents, for everything that goes wrong. And with BPD, an awful lot seems to go wrong, especially in early adulthood. It’s as if a full grown adult has to deal with adult scenarios with a severe emotional handicap, and the result is strife, chaotic relationships and dysfunction in daily life.

[Sudlynn]

I would like to say thanks to everyone for answering.  She is open to therapy but lately she has a problem making it to her appointments.  She last psychiatrist said to me that her dad and I were so good at comforting her that she wasn't so bad when she spoke to her. She has my daughter convinced it is adhpand pans. There is far too much moodiness, social problems and now she believes she may have fibromyalgia. She was just he and I told her she really needs to let them know about this new symptoms of dread she feels and she said well when I see them I can just say it's all fine. Her younger sister dreads her coming home because she will be bugged to hug her and be all friendly when her sister makes her feel uncomfortable.

[Sudlynn]

After the last incident of telling her sister she wasn't going to leave if se didn't try harder with her she calmed down. Her sister went upstairs to her room and five minutes later (like nothing ever happened) she says to me leaving the washroom well I think I was just worried about my Halloween costume. At the end of that Halloween party she went to she was accused of calling some of her friends other friends "bitches" though she says she only said hey were rude. She has also been asked to leave her apartment due to emotional regulation and cleanliness issues.  She is doing ok but not to her potential in university.

[Sudlynn]

She takes adderall 80mg, clamipramine, lamotrigine,clomidine, amitriptyline and just stopped taking prazosin.

[Sudlynn]

She missed her 3rd rescheduled psychology appointment today when she showed up 15min late and didn't call them. Thankfully they have rescheduled to tomorrow and psychiatrist Wednesday. Anyone have luk sending e-mail or communicating info to therapist with an adult child?

[CC43]

Hi there Sud,

My stepdaughter was diagnosed with BPD.  Like your daughter, she complained of anxiety.  Like your daughter, she skipped several therapy sessions, which was infuriating because they are so expensive.  Her excuses were that she forgot, she overslept, or that the therapy didn't help, etc.; she wouldn't dare take responsibility.  I think she was initially just "going along" with therapy to get what she wanted--for her dad to continue to pay rent, tuition, insurance, etc., and enable the status quo.  At that time, she dropped out of college several times; she basically couldn't handle living with roommates because of her messiness and episodes of acting out.  Her executive functioning skills (planning, organizing, prioritizing, following through, tolerating distress) were severely lacking in that phase.  Needless to say, schoolwork did not get done.  She was so absorbed in ruminating about past disappointments that she had no mental bandwidth to look forward.

Anyway, what's clear to me is that therapy is WORK.  If your daughter isn't committed to the process, therapy probably won't work.  Unfortunately, my stepdaughter had to hit bottom before she became committed to therapy.  The upshot is that the therapy did start to work, when she did the work.  The other important change was for my stepdaughter to authorize her dad to get information concerning her care.  In this country, adults 18 years or older are entitled to privacy concerning their medical records, unless they waive the right to that privacy.  Fortunately, my stepdaughter decided that it was important for her dad to be an ally concerning her care, and he was in fact a great help to her.  He was able to discuss her care with her therapist.  In addition, he attended joint therapy sessions with her for a time.  Finally, he was able to call the therapist directly when there were crises, to get her advice and insights about the best way to proceed.  Granted, he wasn't "meddling" or trying to direct her care, but he did obtain the therapist's insights into his daughter's state of mind at important junctures.  I think this contributed to her ultimate success in getting back on track.  I'm not discounting her hard work, but having her dad on the same page was vital in my opinion.

[Sudlynn]

Thanks. Glad to hear your daughter is making some progress. We are in the same boat re do we pay fr a furnished place etc as she can't live with others at this time. We're in Eastern Canada and working on being able to provide information.  We believe they are missing valuable information as she receives things a certain way and forgets. She was always good for going to therapy  but aged out and has new people involved in her care. Hoping she gets there tomorrow and Wednesday.

[CC43]

Hi again,

I’m glad you’re actively involved in your daughter’s care. Since BPD involves disordered thinking, I think that planning, scheduling and keeping commitments are a real challenge. In addition, they probably aren’t used to being responsible adults—making appointments, dealing with insurance, filling prescriptions, etc. can feel too complicated and stressful.  My stepdaughter’s typical response to this sort of stress was avoidance—skipping sessions or stopping meds if she didn’t feel like it. It seems a bit ironic that the doctors expect BPD patients to be so high-functioning and responsible, when that is precisely what isn’t working for them.

Basically my husband said to his daughter that if she wanted him to continue to support her financially, she had to do whatever the doctors said. She could choose to do whatever she wanted, but then she’d be on her own. Since she had hit bottom, her choice became an easy one.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sudlynn]

Couple questions..
Newer psychiatrist
is weaning 19 year old daughter of Lamotrigine.  She takes 300 mg. Will be going down by 25mg a week. Has anyone had experience with this? She has been weaned off prasozin and that was fine.

Also, family dr gets reports from psychiatrist and believes it's bpd. Would they say that if it wasn't in reports from psychiatrist? I am glad to see her off some meds as old psychiatrist seemed to prescribe a lot. Very glad she made it to both appointments this week.