Can I ask whether DD has been self medicating? Just wondering about the psychosis - and indeed whether there are still some elements of psychosis happening. I gather DD was quite unwell - 22 days is quite a long time these days for someone to stay for treatment.
I gather this is not the first time you have had to draw a line and asked DD to leave. What happened in that instance ie did she have anywhere particular to go/did she keep in contact during that time etc? Is DD on any meds since being in hospital and is there follow up?
It doesn't sound as though DD is stable and I can absolutely understand the dilemma you face. The situation as it is is unbearable and the only option ie DD leaves, is heart-breaking.
Gosh I really should have checked my spelling and typos. And the mood I was in when I typed. I sound heartless in that first post but I was just in the throes of the downswing. Or is it an upswing—or another wor— When they’re angr, irritable and (for my dd) paranoid/suspicious?also, I almost forgot I posted here until I saw the email! Oops
Thank you for the reply and understanding, for not slapping my wrist for the way I talked about her and our situation. To answer your questions:
K smokes marijuana when she can get it. Street, and dispo. She says it calms her mind and helps her physical pain—and that I should “mom… get off webmd. marijuana is not going to exacerbate delusions or paranoia, I was just manic, it’ll be fine.” One of her favorite phrases, I bet that’s a common one here, huh? “It’ll be fine.” She does enjoy other drugs quite a bit, and od’d on fentanyl last December. She also sometimes took too much of her adderall. I knew, but there wasn’t anything I could do at the time. She stopped taking it a few days before she went into treatment - probably because she was climbing the mania/psychosis roller coaster. This was her first time. It was scary to see. She got to the point she was telling the police there was something in the shed they needed to check, was completely convinced we were all doing dark magic against each other, she was tearing apart my other kids rooms to prove it. She’d find the simplest thing and proclaim it evil and proof.
The more I read, it’s fairly common for those with bpd to also have schizophrenic tendencies? It’s like somewhere in her brain, she was trying to make all of her life problems not her fault- you know? Like she can’t see her son because her ex is doing witchcraft on her son and against her. She can’t get along with the siblings because I’m a covert narcissist who has trained them not to like her. (I’m so not hehe)from my pov it seems like the bpd makes it impossible for her to truly admit to herself and much less to us, that anything is because of her own actions. It makes sense in an abstract way.
Yes, we’ve had to give her a 30 day eviction notice before, due to her attitude toward me (hugs for moms here, which led to a lot of yelling. We knew she didn’t have much of a place to go but she’d found a friend online whom she decided to live in with. I didn’t know it was allegedly a pim. I want to trust her but the track record, you know? And she’s done that sort of work before, but this one bothered her. She did stay in contact somewhat- enough for her to tell me she needed help moving out of there to another girls house. This woman’s landlord was always stopping by and didn’t want k there because the woman was always late on rent, so K was living in a state of paranoia constantly looking over her shoulder. Sooo against everyone e else’s wishes, I let her come back with the rules that she works on getting disability and helps around the house. And a few other rules.
Yes she’s on seroquel at bedtime and she got a month-long shot of something when she left too. There are two other meds she’s supposed to have too, but insurance wants prior authorization and they’re taking their time. Follow up is in a month. Ugh! Her doc is aware of her situation and isn’t giving her adderal, which I think is great! I hope she can’t get it somewhere else because she’ll just doctor hop.
I just can’t imagine her ever getting fully stable financially, mentally- even physically- if we just throw her on the street essentially. I’m not surprised there aren’t more options for people like her. They are people!
On that note- the last 2-3 days have been nice. How can they be so neurotypical sometimes and then complete monsters at other times. It’s these sweet moments she confides in me and asks me to move back in, I get weak and give in. Idk if I mentioned it but we are a family of 8 and I’m the only person who’s ok with her staying. Sigh. And that’s probably because I’m a pushover. Of maybe just a mom?
Thanks again, I know- this is a lot to take on and reply to, feel free to take your time
A
