Not meaning to be Dr. Obvious, but...
Working 80 hours a week, scoring 85 on the Burn's depression scale, supporting four children and a special needs wife, hiding in a closet...
And worst of all, a car full of trash.
Seriously, you are chasing something you will never catch. Going faster won't get you there... that's just winding your spring tighter.
And I'm sure you can see this. And I'm sure the exit ramp appears pretty elusive.
It is.
Working your way out of this isn't very easy. Life is sucking you in and down. There is little time to think about restructuring your life, let alone doing it.
In the short run, it might make more sense to shift gears and make your priority be creating a more stable situation. Force some time for yourself to chill down and rethink things.
We only know a little about your life, but let's talk about it.
A divorce is a vast, emotionally destructive process. You're conflicted about it. Maybe put that on pause. Get her to agree on some ground rules that tamp down the drama.
Working at home sounds trying, and with the Holiday coming, it's going to get worse. Should you find another place to do some of your phone work - 3 days a week?
Can you tap the brakes on the working hours. Carve out one day a week to catch up on life.
These are just examples - what do you think you can do to but some time to chill out?
