Early signs and personality traits of BPD

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi

[DrmWeaver]

Hi

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[DrmWeaver]

My apologies. I just saw that the original message never posted. I will attempt to reconstruct.

I am curious of the experiences of other parents in raising someone who came to have BPD

When I look back there were some really specific traits over the years. I know BPD has many variations, you guys are the first BPD parents I've met.

Here is a timeline of things I saw

Early Childhood - strong willed, challenging to parent, bossy.

School age -
Power struggles with teachers
Usually only 1 close friend, but it would rotate
Hyper fixation on the behaviors of others. Kids with bad behaviors were an obsession
Friends had to have the same interests, if something was discovered that was not in common, you were out

Middle school - charm was replaced by sullen depression in phases. The clothes became black goth and little miss sunshine was a death eater
It appeared to be severe adolescent behaviors
Didn't have any female friends during this phase

High School -
immediately bonded to a mentally ill upper classman student who mentored her. 
She convinced most of the school that we were a foster family she was living with but that we called ourselves her mom and dad.
She was hospitalized for an overdose and got the DX of Histrionic PD. We didn't understand what this was....
Was very skilled at successfully challenging authority and winning her case
By senior year things were closer to stable and normal

Young Adult -
Went to college locally and excelled. Had always wanted to be an adult.
Got a job, hyper independent.
Got married in her early 20s to a very passive personality
She went through a curious phase where she first spent a few years diving into the same hobby as her father, independent of him, but she was a carbon copy of all the things he liked to do.
A few years later, she was a carbon copy of me, she did all the things that I did. I almost felt like I was being studied.

I see a patten over the years where her friends had to be exactly like her or she had to be the same as them. Same dx, same meds, same problems.
I feel like right now she has been testing to see if she can make me the same as her. Will I bend completely to her will? If we are the same then we can be close.

Do any of these things resonate with anyone else? Did you see signs like this?