New member

[Jayne P]

We first noticed issues with my adopted daughter when she was very young - blank stares, temper tantrums from 16 months lasting 1 - 1.5 hours, disruptive at school, conflicts with other children, night terrors, self harm from 12yo, promiscuity, reckless behaviour, drugs, etc, etc.

Despite seeking medical help on numerous occasions since she was two, it was always our issue, the parents. I now understand practitioners do not like to categorise young children or adolescents with a mental health condition as it stigmatises them.  Disappointing, when therapy many years ago may have assisted us in understanding and coping with BPD.

Now 27, she has disowned me, after breaking ties with all other family members previously (including her birth family).

I'm reaching out to see how other parents cope emotionally and mentally after losing a relationship with their child. Is there hope in regaining her trust and rebuilding our relationship?

Heartbroken!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Ourworld]

Hello,
My daughter also disowned me at age 27, she is 39 now, and is finally getting her life together after marrying a person with major mental health issues, and they both self-medicated with a lot of alcohol and pot! I have seen her recent picture on LinkedIn and read her profile, and it’s like night and day!
So, yes, there is hope for their life once they ‘mature’, since they are emotionally way behind chronological in age. I don’t know when and if she will ever re-connect with me again, I am hoping when she feels better about herself, and can overcome any embarrassment she feels. Which you know, as a parent, she has nothing to be embarrassed about as far as we are concerned.
Fortunately my daughter’s symptoms did not really begin to show until she was a teenager after her father’s death, and she has graduated from college-her BPD is the quiet-high-functioning type.

But you can be hopeful that according to specialists they do say that BPD can go into remission or at least the symptoms settle down as they get into their late 30’s-early 40’s.

Take Care, OurWorld

[Ourworld]

BTW-the change came about when she left him because he could no longer relate to her, he had gone into psychosis and now has been diagnosed with schizophrenia, c-PTSD, and agoraphobia!
Thankfully he’s being well cared for by the VA now. But I think that was the bottom-out they both needed to get help and become better people.