better late than never

[Parents! Get help here!]

Well....my pwBPD (finally) opened her Christmas gifts, that were left at a "neutral" location (my mother's) (I still think it is odd that she hangs out with my, once despised, mother, however, am grateful she reaches out to ANYone); she texted, said thank you, (despite my desire to "gush", I miss you, love you, please come see us (family) I said, "I am so glad, I hope you are well, I love you) it just makes me sad that THIS is the limit of our conversations, however, am strongly advised to "calmly" respond.  I am taking it as a tiny glimmer of hope

[BPDstinks]

Well....my pwBPD (finally) opened her Christmas gifts, that were left at a "neutral" location (my mother's) (I still think it is odd that she hangs out with my, once despised, mother, however, am grateful she reaches out to ANYone); she texted, said thank you, (despite my desire to "gush", I miss you, love you, please come see us (family) I said, "I am so glad, I hope you are well, I love you) it just makes me sad that THIS is the limit of our conversations, however, am strongly advised to "calmly" respond.  I am taking it as a tiny glimmer of hope

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi BPDstinks
Such a small thing brings such intense emotions doesn't it. On the one hand there is a huge sense of relief that some contact - however tiny - has been made. On the other hand, the sadness of the situation is just overwhelming.

It was good advice I think. This is such a complex condition - the emotions, blaming etc are so easily triggered.

I have to say that, even when your heart is breaking you have your DD's best interest at heart - the core of what it means to 'love'.

[BPDstinks]

Sancho!  That is exactly how I feel....though, I have to add, I also feel "anxious", I know it is everyone's desire, I just wish there was some magic wand to say, let's just have lunch or dinner or go for a walk, anything....but, I am so afraid reaching out too much will end up with ZERO contact! (I should add, I am not a patient person, so, I am REALLLY trying to be patient

[CC43]

Hi there,

I think that accepting presents from you and texting a note of gratitude shows some progress. I know you want to reconnect, but you showed restraint and texted an appropriate reply. That may be a baby step towards repairing the relationship. It’s likely that reconnecting would unleash intense emotions, and she’s just not ready for that yet. I hope you remain patient and don’t burden her with your worries and  feelings, as that might push her away.  I think you can be thankful for some progress. At least you know she’s OK, and she’s starting to act in a more civil manner.

[BPDstinks]

CC43!  I am seeing a therapist who specializes in assisting parents of family members with BPD; believe me when I say, I literally have a notebook of responses it is suggested I use!  I appreciate the compliment and advice hoping you are well!