Help needed

[Maribel]

We live in México and won't be able to find a group of families where we could find support for our situation with our daughter. I don't know if this place could be suitable for us since we are not native speakers...I hope I can join the group 'cause we are living very hard times.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kells76]

Hello Maribel, we are glad you reached out for some help and support!

You are more than welcome to join the group -- although it is conducted in English, there are many other members for whom English is not their first language, too. As long as you feel like others understand you and you understand others, you will fit right in. Some members use online or digital translation tools for additional help (for example, writing a draft in their native language, then using a digital tool to translate it before posting it), and that is OK too.

How old is your daughter? Does she live with you, or elsewhere? What are some of the difficulties you are experiencing?

Feel free to share as much as you want to. We will be here for you;

kells76

[CC43]

Hi Maribel, welcome to the group.  ?Hay algo concreto en el que podamos ayudar?  Podria intententar contestar en espanol, aunque me falta practica, y pido disculpas de antemano.  ?Cuantos anyos tiene tu hija?  ?Reside contigo?  ?Tu hija estudia o trabaja?  ?Que dirias son los principales retos hoy en dia?  Con un poco de contexto, a lo mejor podriamos aconsejarte.  Reconociendo que cada persona es unica, las emociones suelen ser volatiles e intensos cuando se trata de BPD.

Uno de los principales aprendizajes aqui es prioritizar el cuidado de uno mismo.  No puedes ayudar mucho a tu hija si estas destrozada.  Otra leccion importante es intentar evitar "alimentar" las furias de tu hija utilizando argumentos logicos.  Cuando tu hija hace una rabieta, esta controlada por sus emociones, y no puede comprender o procesar muy bien los argumentos logicos.  En esos momentos, creo que es mejor evitar "engancharse" con ella.  Al contrario, creo que lo mejor es darle un "time out," utilizando una pequena excusa como, Tengo que lavar los platos o Necesito un poco de aire fresco--y asi, darle tiempo y espacio para calmarse, sin culparse a nadie.

Adicionalmente, hay una tecnica de no reaccionar a las rabietas de tu hija, actuando como una "roca gris," es decir, mantener la calma y no transmitir emocion.

Un abrazo.