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Author Topic: No reconciliation or stabilization in sight  (Read 25 times)
SoVeryConfused
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What is your sexual orientation: Confidential
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: married
Posts: 63


« on: June 29, 2025, 09:53:58 PM »

My 24-year-old child is still raging at me daily. Says she does not want a relationship. That would be a respite, frankly, if true. She immediately calls back to repeat it. When I stop answering, I'm "ignoring" her.

I've responded that I understand her anger over past things; I'm trying to do things differently. But since I'm not doing the things SHE wants, I'm selfish.

Ex #1: After being sworn at, I text that I care AND I'll talk to her again in a few days. She'll immediately rage call & text. When I don't pick up - I'm rotten and have not changed.

Ex #2: Says we never offer to see her and don't care. Huh??? We've asked to come every weekend! I've driven there and she wouldn't see me.
I try to validate - I see you feel that we don't care.
Her response - Knock it off - I don't "feel." It's true. You don't care. You are horrible.

Ex #3: She's furious we travel in winter. 
We validated - I'm sorry, we didn't know you would feel left alone.
Her response - ok, well, now you know, so you're not going, right?   
Her: I'm not doing well, and you just want to go on vacation (we work). You are horrible.

Ex #4: She calls to tell me she's blocking me. I say, I understand. If you change your mind, I'm here.
Immediately call & call & call to repeat it, and add that I'm selfish, etc.
I usually text and say - I hear you. We can talk tomorrow.
Response - more rage texts and swearing.

I share all this not to burden you, but to give you real-life examples. I suggested we could all try to make a fresh start and try to repair the relationship, but she said no. But then she'll say we don't try. If you can't JADE, what do you do in these calls?

I would welcome your experience.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
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