Just venting/forming thoughts

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Not sure why it's hard to make a post, but it has been. I've been stressed and unhappy in my marriage recently. Pfft, who am I kidding? We've been married 11 years, two kids, wife was diagnosed with BPD right after the youngest was born four years ago, but of course the symptoms have *always* been there.

She's been angry all the time recently. At me. At the children, the world. I can watch the kids all day on my day off so she can get a break, but it doesn't make a difference; she's back to yelling and insulting within two minutes of us getting back together. I see so many people on here say their BPD wife is a good mother but a bad spouse, and honestly, I'm envious because we all get the bad stuff.

My 7-year-old son told me his number one wish is to have a mom who is not so angry.

I was on this forum three years ago deciding if I should stay or go, and ultimately made the decision to stay as I felt it would be best for the kids. She did DBT twice, and it was helpful, but now she's not practicing the skills anymore, even though we still have her workbook (I've been reading it, it's great). Yes, I've talked to her about it.

I don't know what I'm asking, I should probably be on the other forum, I'm just venting or prepping to make a real post, I guess. Divorcing doesn't seem like an option right now, but it could be in a few more years.

After her diagnosis, I read SWOE and made some posts here. I got some great advice to not buy a house or have any more kids, and have done that, but I'm now 33 and honestly want to have more kids and want to buy a house, but I'm not sure I want to do it with her. So yeah, conflicted.

[BlueNavigator]

Not sure why it's hard to make a post, but it has been. I've been stressed and unhappy in my marriage recently. Pfft, who am I kidding? We've been married 11 years, two kids, wife was diagnosed with BPD right after the youngest was born four years ago, but of course the symptoms have *always* been there.

She's been angry all the time recently. At me. At the children, the world. I can watch the kids all day on my day off so she can get a break, but it doesn't make a difference; she's back to yelling and insulting within two minutes of us getting back together. I see so many people on here say their BPD wife is a good mother but a bad spouse, and honestly, I'm envious because we all get the bad stuff.

My 7-year-old son told me his number one wish is to have a mom who is not so angry.

I was on this forum three years ago deciding if I should stay or go, and ultimately made the decision to stay as I felt it would be best for the kids. She did DBT twice, and it was helpful, but now she's not practicing the skills anymore, even though we still have her workbook (I've been reading it, it's great). Yes, I've talked to her about it.

I don't know what I'm asking, I should probably be on the other forum, I'm just venting or prepping to make a real post, I guess. Divorcing doesn't seem like an option right now, but it could be in a few more years.

After her diagnosis, I read SWOE and made some posts here. I got some great advice to not buy a house or have any more kids, and have done that, but I'm now 33 and honestly want to have more kids and want to buy a house, but I'm not sure I want to do it with her. So yeah, conflicted.