D17 in psych hospital

[I Am Redeemed]

My D17 is back in the psych hospital and we are pushing for long term residential treatment.

She has been through a lot of trauma and she exhibits Bipolar symptoms. I've wondered if she could have BPD, but what matters is her behaviors. She self harms and has had some suicide attempts.

This is super stressful for me as I also have a S9 with extreme behavior and mental health issues. We're in the middle of moving. My ubpdxh is in jail for assault on me, and now this.

It's frustrating how many times she's been in the hospital and had her medicine slightly adjusted, only to have no real effect.

I don't really know how to choose a residential treatment center, either. We're limited by our insurance.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kells76]

It feels like when it rains it pours with family crises. I'm sorry you have to juggle so much at once 

Has D17 been cooperative with going to and engaging with inpatient treatment this time?

Does she know you're considering residential? If so, what does she think about it?

Does her current inpatient center have recommendations for or connections with RTC's -- can they give you a few to check out, just to narrow things down?

Does her current inpatient center have a parents' group? I wonder if parents there may have first hand info on RTC's.

Would you want to be involved in her time at a RTC? If so, you may want to limit your search to places closer to home. Of course, that has to be balanced with the focus of and quality of the RTC.

Anyone at your church have a connection to RTC's? Might be worth asking around there, if you haven't already.

McLean Hospital in Massachusetts is highly regarded for BPD and for many other adolescent challenges. The University of Washington is also well respected, and while I'm not sure if it has an adolescent RTC, it does have a DBT focus and I wonder if they could recommend any BPD focused RTCs or other resources.

I hope you get some respite this week.

[CC43]

Omg your husband is in jail, you’re moving and now this?  Is this your daughter’s response to all the changes?  Is she afraid she’s “losing” a childhood home, even if she left it for someplace else already?  I’m asking because a move seemed to destabilize my BPD stepdaughter a lot at around that age. I never really understood that, except to wonder if she was looking for something/someone else to blame for her issues. But maybe the real problem was the stress/trauma of dealing with strife/change/instability in the house. Or maybe she felt she was “losing” her childhood without having a clear picture of what young adulthood would look like. I think that really scared her. Maybe it was a manifestation of “abandonment” of a past—the home, old friends, old routines, a child’s identity—and we know that feelings of abandonment are a real trigger with BPD.

Did self-harm land her in the hospital?  If so, I’m glad she’s getting some help. You must be sick with worry and stress. I’m thinking of you and hope to send some strength your way. You might need to take some time to process all this. It’s hard to think straight with the shock of it. My two stepdaughters had multiple suicide attempts, and each one was horrific. The younger one was diagnosed with BPD and eventually got the right treatment. Meds didn’t seem to do that much except for dulling her senses when she was in crisis.

Thinking of you in these very tough times.

[CC43]

PS my BPD stepdaughter was treated at McLean in Massachusetts.

[I Am Redeemed]

It feels like when it rains it pours with family crises. I'm sorry you have to juggle so much at once 

Has D17 been cooperative with going to and engaging with inpatient treatment this time?

Does she know you're considering residential? If so, what does she think about it?

Does her current inpatient center have recommendations for or connections with RTC's -- can they give you a few to check out, just to narrow things down?

Does her current inpatient center have a parents' group? I wonder if parents there may have first hand info on RTC's.

Would you want to be involved in her time at a RTC? If so, you may want to limit your search to places closer to home. Of course, that has to be balanced with the focus of and quality of the RTC.

Anyone at your church have a connection to RTC's? Might be worth asking around there, if you haven't already.

McLean Hospital in Massachusetts is highly regarded for BPD and for many other adolescent challenges. The University of Washington is also well respected, and while I'm not sure if it has an adolescent RTC, it does have a DBT focus and I wonder if they could recommend any BPD focused RTCs or other resources.

I hope you get some respite this week.

She's very cooperative with treatment and has been going to therapy twice a week. She knows we're considering TTC and she is not excited about it, but not hostile, either. She downplays and minimizes everything.

They will do referrals from her acute inpatient unit. There's not many great choices in our state. We're in the South, and the best treatment centers are across state lines which don't take Medicaid from our state.

She is staying with a church member who is a trauma therapist. We've scoured the available resources. It's a matter of just picking the best of what is immediately available.

I will be involved through family therapy by phone if she's not local. DBT is definitely something we're looking for.

[I Am Redeemed]

Omg your husband is in jail, you’re moving and now this?  Is this your daughter’s response to all the changes?  Is she afraid she’s “losing” a childhood home, even if she left it for someplace else already?  I’m asking because a move seemed to destabilize my BPD stepdaughter a lot at around that age. I never really understood that, except to wonder if she was looking for something/someone else to blame for her issues. But maybe the real problem was the stress/trauma of dealing with strife/change/instability in the house. Or maybe she felt she was “losing” her childhood without having a clear picture of what young adulthood would look like. I think that really scared her. Maybe it was a manifestation of “abandonment” of a past—the home, old friends, old routines, a child’s identity—and we know that feelings of abandonment are a real trigger with BPD.

Did self-harm land her in the hospital?  If so, I’m glad she’s getting some help. You must be sick with worry and stress. I’m thinking of you and hope to send some strength your way. You might need to take some time to process all this. It’s hard to think straight with the shock of it. My two stepdaughters had multiple suicide attempts, and each one was horrific. The younger one was diagnosed with BPD and eventually got the right treatment. Meds didn’t seem to do that much except for dulling her senses when she was in crisis.

Thinking of you in these very tough times.

I wish I was kidding, but, unfortunately, I am dealing with all this at once.
She has a lot of trauma from the DV she has witnessed. This latest incident was a bit different; instead of cutting herself, she tried to choke herself.
Her online bf that she never met broke up with her last Saturday, so this is directly tied to that. Plus, her favorite cat ran away and we're all sad about that.
Bio dad is not in the picture and her stepdad just assaulted me again, which she knows about and knows he's in jail and we're moving.

Thanks for your thoughts and support.