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Author Topic: 18 year old might be in emergency room  (Read 393 times)
Gorges
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 178


« on: February 12, 2017, 04:10:44 PM »

Hello,
My daughter just chose to drop out of college on Tuesday. I warned her that we would not financially support her and help her if she did this.  She did it anyway partly because she doesn't believe my threats as my husband sometimes has stepped into rescue her.   My husband is sticking by me on this one.  So, she is supposed to be out of dorm today.  I told her I won't give her a ride to her new apartment if she is rude and can't answer my questions about losing her scholarship and her budget for living independently.  I told her that she should pay for a taxi to take her to her new place because I didn't think she would be able to not be abusive to me during the ride to her new place.  She has a history of verbal abuse.  My husband did say he would give her a ride but decided against it unless she could have a conversation with me politely answering my questions.  She texted my husband a picture of her arms and legs all cut and saying that her roommate would find her dead.  My husband refuses to do anything but I called public safety and they sent someone to see her.  They did make contact with her but could not talk to me about what they did because I am not listed as an emergency contact.  Only my husband is and he doesn't want to do anything.  Maybe to spite me.  I am not sure.  I am not bugging him about it.  But, because she is 18, I don't think I can just show up at the hospital.  I guess I just wait it out.  The only thing I know is that we are not equipped to handle her in our home.  She can be very abusive and now with suicide threats (she has made these in the past but never cut herself).  We have had to call the police on her when she has lived with us for threatening to hurt us. 
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
wendydarling
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Mother
Posts: 2701



« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2017, 05:58:03 PM »

Hi Gorges

So sorry to hear your latest news Gorges, your DD's not coped with college.   I can understand from what you say you protecting your family and home.

I hope she is safe and is able to share with you that she is suffering, her pain, so she can find a space to work forward from there. 

My heart goes out to you, do let us know how you get on.

WDx
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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
Gorges
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 178


« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2017, 06:42:33 PM »

Thanks for touching base.  It has been a rough week, particularly the last 24 hours.  My husband took over with helping her move.  Thank goodness because it took 3 car trips and about 5 hours.  Ridiculous.  He is not mad at me and just relieved it is all over.  She apologized to him about her self harm and suicide threat.  She left saying she knows she needs therapy for how mad she gets at me.  She is going to apply for some form of public assistance because we are not helping her financially.   This is her first night in her new apartment.  I told her that I needed a break from her for awhile.  The last week has been very intense and I need to recover.  I also think she should apologize for the way she handled things before I can move on.  The good news is that she is not living with us so our house can remain peaceful.  The bad news is that she really is a tormented soul.  All I can do is pray for her and others who suffer as well.
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wendydarling
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Mother
Posts: 2701



« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2017, 07:22:57 PM »

Goodness it's no wonder you are exhausted, glad you are taking time out for you, rest up Gorges, sending you calm and peace. WDx

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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
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