I’m a parent who is struggling, looking for advice

[Anon57]

Hi - my first post. I have a 34 yo daughter recently diagnosed with BPD after many years of counselling for various issues and culminating in several suicide threats as well as depression. Like many of the contributors here, we have dug her out of so many holes financially and emotionally and given so much time and support to her. I’m 73 now and frankly tired, depressed and dispirited by it all. I’ve reached the stage that I want to move well away in fact, especially since her latest desire is to have a baby with her boyfriend of 6 months (who lives a plane ride away and can’t move in with her). Frankly, I’m horrified by this and only see more anguish down the road with worry about any child she has. Anybody been in this situation?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Hi. I am sorry you are going through this.  Does your daughter live with you or is she on her own? Yes, many of us have been in similar spots.  If at all possible,  your focus has to be more on you and less on your daughter, Unfortunately.  It is good she is in therapy.  However, there is not a lot more you can do to control her impulses to want a child .  You came to the right place.  Reading up about bpd will help a lot and it explains the first principle of you have to help yourself first.  Take a look at the "library" here, it has a few good book suggestions.  Please write on more as you are able .  Have patience with yourself.