Protecting my right not to know. What do you think?

[JsMom]

This feels unnatural because as parents we love sharing life with our kids and we love being involved and hearing about their lives. What I keep coming up against with my son who has bpd is that sometimes knowing details is distressing for me. Actually often it is. It has been this way for most of his life. Maybe because he now has a stable job, and I see it gives him some stability - I think he will build on it and make wise and healthy decisions. The thing is, I'm tired of the emotional roller-coaster of stressing and worrying about his actions, and choices. I feel like I need to back off and not be curious about how things are going for him. I need to protect my right not to knoIt w. That hurts and it sucks when you love your child but honestly,  I don't know of another way. Do any of  you?
I've spent some time visiting him lately and I see him exhausted from lack of sleep- studying to renew his real estate license when he already has a very good full-time job and side work in his trade on weekends.  He tells me how little sleep he gets or that he hasn't eaten all day.??? I feel like he's making sure I stay hooked in. I think his longterm relationship with his girlfriend ended and he's filling up all his free time. I see bill (late notices) stacked on his counter. Yet his house is clean, laundry done... It makes my head spin. I feel I need to set a boundary for myself of not letting myself know too much about what's going on in his life. The thing also is, when I know - I want  to help, advise and rescue because I'm a mess worrying. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders